R. AKIVA'S WIFE
R. Akiva saw that she desired that he continue learning, so he learned for another 12 years. He returned home with 24,000 Talmidim.
His wife heard that he was returning, and went to greet him.
Neighbors: You should borrow better clothes to greet him!
His wife: "A Tzadik knows the soul of his animal."
When she reached him, she bowed to the ground and kissed his feet. R. Akiva's attendants started to dispel her.
R. Akiva: Leave her! My Torah and yours is due to her!
Her father heard that a great Chacham came. He went to see him, hoping to annul his vow.
R. Akiva: When you vowed, did you intend to forbid her even if her husband would become a great Chacham? (Tosfos - this is normal for one who goes to learn, therefore this was a valid Pesach to permit the vow.)
Ben Kalba Savu'a: Had I known that he would learn even one Perek, or even one Halachah, I would not have vowed.
R. Akiva: I am your son-in-law!
His father-in-law bowed and kissed his foot, and gave half his money to him.
R. Akiva's daughter did similarly with Ben Azai. (However, Ben Azai became so enamoured with Torah that he could not remain married - see Tosfos.)
This is like people say, a sheep follows a sheep. The daughter did like her mother.
Rava sent his son Rav Yosef to learn for six years. After three years, his son decided to see his family, on Erev Yom Kipur.
Rava heard that he was coming; he took a weapon and went to greet him.
Version #1 (Rava): (You interrupted your learning because) you remembered your harlot (some texts - your spouse)!
Version #2 (Rava): You remembered your dove (mate)!
They quarreled, and neither ate the pre-fast meal.
A SPOUSE WHO REBELS
(Mishnah): If a woman rebels against her husband (this will be explained), we reduce her Kesuvah by seven Dinarim every week;
R. Yehudah says, we deduct seven Tarpa'ikin every week.
This continues until her Kesuvah is depleted;
R. Yosi says, we decrease indefinitely (and record how much she owes to him). Perhaps she will inherit money, and he will collect from it!
Similarly, if a man rebels against his wife, we add three Dinarim to her Kesuvah every week;
R. Yehudah says, we add three Tarpa'ikin.
(Gemara) Question: What is her rebellion?
Answer #1 (Rav Huna): She refuses to have Bi'ah.
Answer #2 (R. Yosi bar Chanina): She refuses to work.
Question (Mishnah): Similarly, if a man rebels against his wife...
We understand this according to Rav Huna (he refuses to have Bi'ah).
But according to R. Yosi bar Chanina, is he obligated to work for her?!
Answer: He refuses to feed her.
Question: Rav taught that a man who refuses to feed his wife must divorce her and pay her Kesuvah!
Answer: We first ask him to retract (and during this time we add to her Kesuvah).
Question (Beraisa): The law of rebellion applies whether she is an Arusah or a Nesu'ah, even if she is Nidah, even if she is sick, and even a Shomeres Yavam. (Some texts, including Rashi's omit the next lines until Question (p).
This is not difficult if rebellion is from work.
But if she rebels from Bi'ah, why do we decrease her Kesuvah? A Nidah may not have Bi'ah in any case!
Answer: Without her rebellion, her husband was (content) like one who has bread in his basket (later, she will be permitted). Now, he is (troubled) like one whose basket is empty.
Question: Granted, rebellion from Bi'ah applies even when she is sick;
But if she rebels from work, when she is sick in any case she cannot work!
Answer: All agree that rebellion from Bi'ah is rebellion. They argue about whether or not rebellion from work is also rebellion.
THE LATER ENACTMENT
(Mishnah): If a woman rebels, we reduce her Kesuvah by seven Dinarim every week;
R. Yehudah says, we deduct seven Tarpa'ikin every week.
(Beraisa): Raboseinu later voted to announce for four consecutive Shabbosos that she is rebelling. Beis Din sends to inform her that even if her Kesuvah is 100 Maneh, she will lose it all.
The law of rebellion applies whether she is an Arusah or a Nesu'ah, even if she is Nidah, even if she is sick, and even if she is a Shomeres Yavam.
Question (R. Chiya bar Yosef): A Nidah may not have Bi'ah (why is she considered a rebel)?
Answer (Shmuel): One who has bread in his basket is unlike one without bread in his basket.
(Rami bar Chama): We announce about her only in the Beis ha'Keneses and Beis Medrash.
Support (Rava - Beraisa): We announce for four consecutive Shabbosos. (On Shabbos everyone is in the Beis ha'Keneses or Beis Medrash.)
(Rami bar Chama): Beis Din sends to her twice, once before the announcements, and once after them.
(Rav Nachman bar Rav Chisda): The Halachah follows Raboseinu.
(Rava): That is improper!
Rav Nachman bar Yitzchak: What is improper about it? I said so to Rav Nachman bar Rav Chisda in the name of a great man, R. Yosi bar Chanina!
Question: Like whom does Rava hold?
Answer: He holds like Rav Sheshes:
(Rava citing Rav Sheshes): The Halachah is, we deliberate with her (we delay the Get, reducing her Kesuvah each week. Perhaps she will cease her rebellion.)
(Rav Huna bar Yehudah citing Rav Sheshes): The Halachah is, we do not deliberate with her.
Question: What is the case of a rebel (in which we deliberate)?
Answer #1 (Ameimar): She desires (to stay married to) him, she just wants to pain him;
If she said that he is repulsive to her, we do not force her (to remain with him. He divorces her without a Kesuvah.)
Answer #2 (Mar Zutra): (Even in this case,) we force her.
A case occurred, and Mar Zutra forced her to stay married. She (ceased to despise her husband, and) gave birth to R. Chanina of Sura.
Rejection: (This does not prove that if we force her, she will desire him again.) There, Shamayim helped (so that R. Chanina would be born)!
Rav Zvid's daughter-in-law rebelled. She was holding a silk garment that she brought into the marriage.
Version #1 (Ameimar, Mar Zutra and Rav Ashi): One who rebels forfeits the existing Bala'os (the remnants of property that she brought into the marriage).
Objection (Rav Gamda): Do you flatter Rav Zvid (pervert the ruling to favor his son) because he is a great Chacham?!
(Rav Kahana): Rava never resolved whether or not she forfeits the existing Bala'os (therefore, she should keep what is in her possession)!