HOW MUCH FOOD MUST ONE GIVE TO HIS WIFE? [wife:feeding]
(Mishnah): One who feeds his wife through an intermediary must supply at least the following every week:
Two Kabim of wheat, or four Kabim of barley;
R. Yosi says, only R. Yishmael allots barley, for he lived close to Edom.
A half Kav of Kitnis (pulse, a kind of legume) and half a Log of oil;
A Kav of dried figs, or a Maneh of pressed figs;
If he cannot give these, he gives other fruits.
He provides her with a bed, mat and mattress;
He gives to her a kerchief for her head and a belt. He gives to her shoes every festival;
He gives to her clothing worth 50 Zuz each year. He does not give new clothing in summer, nor worn clothing in winter. Rather, he gives 50 Zuz worth of new clothing in winter, and she wears the remnants in summer, and the remnants are hers;
He gives to her a silver Mo'oh each week for her needs;
If he does not give to her a Mo'oh each week, she keeps her (excess) earnings.
If she was nursing, her workload is reduced and her rations are increased;
This all applies to the poorest man in Yisrael. Each man must increase according to his standing.
Inference: The Mishnah does not say that he gives to her wine. This supports R. Elazar:
(R. Elazar): We do not allot wine to a woman (lest it arouse her lust).
(R. Yehudah): We do not allot wine to a woman. It says "Chanah got up after her eating... and his drinking", not after her drinking.
Question (Beraisa): If she is accustomed, we give to her (wine).
Answer #1: When she is used to wine it is different (then it will not arouse her lust), like the following teaching:
(Abaye): If she is accustomed to two cups when with her husband, we give to her one cup when she is alone. If she normally has one cup with him, we do not give to her at all when she is alone.
Answer #2: A woman who is accustomed receives wine for cooking:
65b (Beraisa): Excess food belongs to the husband.
(R. Yehoshua ben Levi): We allot wine to a nursing woman, for this is good for the milk.
The Rif and Rosh (5:38) bring the Mishnah, and say that we allot wine to a woman who is accustomed to have wine.
Hagahos Ashri: If she is accustomed to two cups when with her husband, we give to her one cup when she is alone. If she normally has one cup with him, we do not give to her at all when she is alone.
Ran (DH Masnisin): A Mishnah (70a) says that if one vowed that his wife may not benefit from him, up to 30 days, he gets someone to finance her. Beyond this, he must divorce her and pay her Kesuvah. The Yerushalmi asks from our Mishnah, and answers that our Mishnah discusses when she consented to be fed through a third party. She can demand that her husband feed her himself. The Bavli agrees. It seems that he cannot feed through an middleman more than 30 days, because people find out and it is disgraceful for her. However, the Rambam says that it is disgraceful only when he vowed. If not, he may feed her through a middleman, like the simple understanding of our Mishnah.
Ran (DH Lo): Why doesn't the Mishnah mention wood for cooking? Perhaps it is because the Tana was in a mountainous place (the Gemara says that this is why he apportions three pairs of shoes per year), and free wood is readily available. However, in other places surely he must give to her. Alternatively, the Tana mentions only food. He does not discuss other obligations, such as a lamp, wick, cup, barrel and bowl, even though he surely gives to her. The Yerushalmi and Tosefta (5:7) say so.
Rambam (Hilchos Ishus 12:10): We apportion the following food to a wife. She gets bread for two average meals of people of the city, who are not sick or ravenous. It is of the normal food of the city, be it wheat, barley, rice, millet or other customary foods. We give to her an accompaniment for the bread such as pulse or vegetables. We give to her oil for eating and for a lamp, fruits, and wine to drink if women of the region drink wine. We apportion to her three meals for Shabbos, meat and fish according to the local custom. We give to her a silver Mo'oh each week for her needs, such as a Perutah for laundry or the bathhouse and similar matters.
Rambam (11): This all applies to the poorest man in Yisrael. A wealthy man gives according to his wealth. Even if his wealth is fitting to give to her several meat dishes every day we force him, and apportion food according to his wealth. If he was extremely poor and cannot give to her even the bread she needs, we force him to divorce her, and her Kesuvah is obligatory on him until he attains money to pay it.
Shulchan Aruch (EH 70:3): We apportion the following food to a wife. She gets bread for two meals, and an accompaniment for the bread. We give to her oil for eating and for a lamp, and a little wine to drink, if women of the region drink wine.
Chelkas Mechokek (4): The Shulchan Aruch discusses one who sends food to his wife and she eats alone (like Sa'if 2). However, in Sa'if 1 he says that she eats and drinks what he eats and drinks. I.e. when they eat together, if he eats plain bread, she does, also.
Beis Shmuel (2): In Sa'if 1, the Shulchan Aruch says that if her family eats grandly, he must supply her accordingly. That refers to a rich man. Here we discuss an Oni; he need not feed her like she is used to.
Note: The Beis Yosef (brought below) connotes otherwise.
Chelkas Mechokek (4): The Rambam connotes that even when they eat together, he must supply all of this to her, even if he eats plain bread. However, the Rambam apportions a little wine, which suggests that she is alone.
Beis Shmuel (4): The Rif, Rosh and Tur hold that if a woman is used to drinking wine, we give her usual amount even when she is alone.
Rema: If she was nursing, we give to her wine.
Chelkas Mechokek (5): We give only one cup, for more than this disgraces a woman.
Beis Shmuel (5): A nursing woman needs wine for the milk, so we are not concerned lest it arouse her lust.
Shulchan Aruch (ibid.): She gets three meals for Shabbos, and meat or fish. He gives to her a silver Mo'oh each week for her needs.
Rema: He gives to her wood to cook her food.
Chelkas Mechokek (8): He also gives to her necessary utensils, such as pots and bowls.
Shulchan Aruch (ibid.): This applies to the poorest man in Yisrael. A wealthy man gives according to his wealth.
Beis Yosef (DH u'Mah she'Chosav ba'Meh): The Tur writes 'wealthy people give according to their wealth. I.e. if he is poor and she is rich, he must feed her like she is accustomed, for a woman ascends with her husband, but does not descend.
Rema: If she skimped and had left over, the extra belongs to him.