1)When someone has the unfortunate experience of losing a relative, the gemara says that he should not recline while eating, in order that he should not divert his attention from his responsibility of burying the dead. My question is why by the seder table do we recline? Yes, the central theme on the night of Pesach is Yetzias Metzraim and by reclining we manifest the "redeeming aspect" however, perhaps we should be concerned that by reclining at the seder table, one will not be focusing his attention on the main aspect of the night?
2)The gemara says it's forbidden to where Tefillin in a cemetery and/or say pesukim written in a Sefer Torah even if one recites them orally. Why? because this is disrespectful to the dead. If so, how can one say pesukei Tehillim by a gravesite of a relative.
Pinchas Glovin, Brooklyn, USA
You answer your first question yourself, when you mention the fact that reclining is central to the theme of Yetzi'as Mitzrayim - freedom (not 'redeeming'). This is part of the main aspect of the night, so how can it possibly be a distraction?
If you still have doubts, I figure that the Ba'al ha'Turim in Beshalach (13:18) will dispel them. He cites a Medrash which, clearly interpreting "Vayasev Elokim es ha'Am ... " as a Lashon Hasavah (leaning), explains that Hash-m laid a table for them in the desert and allowed them to recline and eat. So you see, reclining at the Seifer-table even has its roots in a Pasuk.
As for your second question, the reason that one may not wear Tefilin, learn Torah or allow one's Tzitis to be visible in the presence of a dead person is in order not to embarrass or mock him ("Lo'eg la'Rash ... "), in that you are performing a Mitzvah that he is no longer obligated to perform.
To begin with, reciting Tehilim is not an obligation, and does not therefore fall under this category. And besides, since you are reciting the Tehilim in his honor, it can only be a merit for his Soul.
Alternatively, if you were standing in his presence doing nothing beneficial, it might be detrimental to his Soul.