This question presupposes that our actions are completely l'Shem Shamayim like Shamai and Hillel. Would that they were, in which case it is quite conceivable that we would be Zochim to the Havtachah of "Im Hosif, Mosifin Lo Min ha'Shamayim". (But even then it is not necessarily automatic. See the last response that I wrote based on the Ramchal in Da'as Tevunos on the relationship between Sechar v'Onesh and that of Mazal and Hash-m's overall Hanhagah in Olam ha'Zeh.)

However, can we claim that we are spending on Shabbos or on tuition for our children purely l'Shem Shamayim. Let me recount a story or Medrash I once heard on a tape of Rav Amnon Yitzchak (Shlitah).

There once was a very rich man who had three sons. The older two, let us call them Reuven and Shimon, were married and living in a different country far away. Reuven was a successful businessman, worldly and street-wise. Shimon, on the other hand, was a poor Tamim who could not make ends meet.

The third brother, Levi, stayed at home with his father and the time for his wedding was approaching.

The father sent a letter to his son Reuven. He asked him to spare no expense in preparing himself and his brother Shimon for the wedding. He should spend whatever was needed to buy new clothes for the wedding and pay for the transportation. The father would cover all the wedding expenses that Reuven would spend in honor of the father.

Reuven then went to town buying lavish clothing for himself, his wife and his children and first class tickets. He forgot about his brother Shimon until the day before the time came for them to travel. At the last moment he realized that he had better spend something on his brother too. But it was very late and it was not possible to provide him with much.

When they came to the wedding, Reuven and his family were all immaculately fitted out, but Shimon and his family looked like tramps. The father was none too pleased. When Reuven presented him with the huge bill of over $200,000 the father refused to pay. Reuven was astounded. He showed his father the letter and asked how could he go back on his promise to pay whatever it had cost?

The father, however, pointed out that the letter had specified that he would pay only what Reuven had done in his honor. Reuven had not done so. He had spent it on his own honor, not that of the father as is evident from the fact that he did not find it necessary to take care of Shimon.

The Nimshal is clear. Do we really think of Kavod Shabbos, or Kavod Shamayim when we buy the choice things or send our children to the Cheder, or are we thinking of social status, of keeping up with the neighbors, of having a son whom we can boast about to others, or for whom we will be able to find a good Shiduch?

Compare the Rambam Hilchos Yom Tov 6:18 that Yom Tov purchases and the food we think we are eating to be Mekayem the Mitzvas Aseh of Simchas Yom Tov can be like eating dung if we neglect the poor.

Do we think about other poor children when we choose a school for our own? Do we try to assist the school authorities in their unenviable task of trying to educate our children in the face of boorish and uneducated parents who delight in undermining the Meleches ha'Kodesh of the Mechanchim?

My advice is to continue to budget carefully for your tuition until you are confident that you have reached the level of sincerity of Shamai ha'Zaken, and the level of Bitachon of Hillel ha'Zaken, otherwise you are indulging in Hefkerus. If you are sincere in your purchases for Shabbos and in your wish for the true Torah education of your children, you will be Zoche to the Havtachah of the Gemara of Mosifin Lo, but at our level I would not bank on it happening automatically.

Kol Tuv,

Joseph Pearlman