Why does the Torah use the double expression, "va'Yira Me'od... va'Yetzer Lo" (He was afraid and he was distressed)?
Rashi: [The double expression tells us that] Yaakov was (very) afraid - that Esav may kill him, and distressed - that he may have to kill Acherim (others, i.e. Esav, 1 in self-defense).
Ohr ha'Chayim: He was afraid not to arm himself, in case Esav comes for war. He was distressed, for perhaps Esav truly felt brotherhood, but when he sees that Yaakov armed himself, he will say that Yaakov seeks his evil, and this will arouse his hatred!
Hadar Zekenim, Da'as Zekenim: Yaakov was pained that he was afraid in spite of Hashem's promise. Malbim - this showed that his trust in Hashem was not absolute, therefore he was not worthy of miracles. This distressed him, and he was forced to make natural preparations for war. Ha'amek Davar #1 - Because he felt fear, he sensed that there is evil in front of him.
Ha'amek Davar #2: He was distressed because he realized that he should not have sent to Esav to tell him that he is returning.
See also Sifsei Chachamim. Why should he be distressed about killing Esav? One should kill one who seeks to kill him! See Gur Aryeh; refer to 32:8:1.1. V'Lo Od Ela (Perek 44) - Yaakov knew (through Ru'ach ha'Kodesh) that R. Meir, who is called Acherim, should descend from a convert from Esav. He feared lest he kill Esav, and effectively kill R. Meir. This is why after Yisrael entered Eretz Yisrael, they 'forgot' about wiping out Amalek until Hashem commanded them. (This is difficult. We cannot uproot our Mitzvah due to such concerns! Further, R. Meir could come from a part of Esav's family other than Amalek! And even if he must come from Amalek, (if we do not accept converts from them, from a female Amalekis who married a different nation), perhaps R. Meir's Amaleki ancestor already converted or had children from another nation, so wiping out all current Amalekim will not affect R. Meir! And why was Yaakov worried? If he needs to kill Esav, presumably, R. Meir will come from a child of Esav who was already born (Esav was 97 years old, and he married his last wife 34 years ago)! Perhaps Ru'ach ha'Kodesh told him that R. Meir will come from a child of Esav who was not yet born. Rashi (to Shemos 2:12) says that before Moshe killed the Mitzri, he saw that in the future, no one [destined to come] from him will convert. - PF)
What led Yaakov to believe that Esav's visit was not a friendly one?
Ramban #1: The fact that Esav (unexpectedly) 1 left his home-town to come and meet him, and that he was coming with 400 men was a clear indication that his visit was anything but friendly.
What caused Esav to ultimately change his mind?
Ramban: He changed his mind at the last minute - when he saw the great Kavod his brother showed him, and when he saw him bowing down to him seven times and humbling himself before him, his heart melted, because he thought that Yaakov was conceding that he (Esav) was the Bechor. 1
And the heart of man is in the Hand of Hashem, to bend as He sees fit (See Mishlei 21:1).
Bearing in mind Hashem's promise that his offspring would increase like the dust of the earth, why was Yaakov afraid?
Rashi (to 32:11) and Ramban (to 32:13): He was afraid that, since Hashem's promise, his merits had diminished on account of his sins, and that he was no longer worthy of Hashem's protection. 1
Rosh, Hadar Zekenim (to 32:9), Da'as Zekenim (to 32:12): Hashem promised me when I was alone - "Ki b'Makli...." Now I am two camps. Perhaps Esav will strike my family, "Em Al ha'Banim"! 2
Hadar Zekenim #1, Da'as Zekenim #1 (from Bereishis Rabah 76:2): Yaakov had neglected Kibud Av v'Em for 20 years [and he was later punished for this] and Yishuv Eretz Yisrael, and Esav had these merits. 3
Hadar Zekenim #2, Da'as Zekenim #2: Esav had said that he will kill Yaakov after his father dies. Yaakov feared that this had occurred. 4
Hadar Zekenim #3, Da'as Zekenim #3, Malbim: Indeed, Yaakov was pained that he was afraid in spite of Hashem's promise.
Oznayim la'Torah: The question is even more blatant, bearing in mind that Yaakov was that much stronger than Esav, 5 and could easily have killed him if attacked. The trouble was that, based on Yaakov's words and actions, it is clear that he did not know whether Esav was coming to kill him or to greet him in peace - and he was therefore in two minds as to how to react when the confrontation took place. 6 See Oznayim la'Torah who described Yaakov's dilemma in detail.
Gur Aryeh: Refer to 32:8:4.1:1.
Ramban: Tzadikim are constantly afraid of having sinned, which is why Yaakov was afraid that he had sinned even after having left Charan, for having made a covenant with Lavan ha'Rasha or in some other way.
Ba'al ha'Turim: Esav might kill my children, and Hashem's promise would be fulfilled with children that I will bear later (Refer to 32:12:2:1). This is similar to the explanation of the Ibn Ezra (to 32:9), which the Ramban rejects.
Rav C.P. Scheinberg - Yaakov was worried, lest it was harder for Esav to guard these two Mitzvos than for Yaakov to guard 613, so Esav has greater reward.
This explains why Yaakov said, "Elokei Avi Yitzchak" (32:10 - even though before he did not (31:42), for we do not put Hashem's name on a living person - refer to 31:42:2:1).
Oznayim la'Torah: His enormous strength is highlighted by his ability to roll the stone off the well (29:10)- which the shepherds of three flocks could not do -and by the fact that he set-up the Matzevah which all of Lavan's men were unable to move (31:45)- Tanchuma 7. See also Oznayim la'Torah. (Perhaps also Esav had awesome strength! At 15, he had killed Nimrod, the quintessential Gibor (10:9) who was among the four kings who defeated, on the way to fight the five kings, nations whose dread fell on anyone who saw them (14:5; refer to Devarim 2:11:3:1 - PF)
Oznayim la'Torah: And in fighting an enemy, it is difficult to plan a strategy if one does not know what the enemy plans to do - all the more so if one does not even know whether he is an enemy or a friend.
Which two camps did Yaakov plan to make?
Targum Yonasan: He divided his entire camp into two sections, one of Leah 1 and one of Rachel.
Ohr ha'Chayim: The first camp showed brotherly love, and the other was ready and armed [for war, since Yaakov was unsure of Esav's intent].
Malbim: One was of his wives and children, and one was his flocks and shepherds.
Perhaps Leah's camp included Zilpah and their children, and Rachel's section included Bilhah and their children. However, refer to 32:8:151:1.
Why does the verse not mention dividing the children?
Ha'amek Davar: He guarded the children with himself. Hashem had promised him that he and his seed would not be wiped out. Also, he could not be killed until Binyamin (i.e. his 12th son) was born and grew up. 1 This is the source that no Shevet can be wiped out. Rather, he was worried about his property, slaves and [his Tefilah - "v'Hikani Em Al Banim" (32:12) shows that he was worried also about] his wives. 2
Granted, his wives knew through Ru'ach ha'Kodesh that he will have 12 sons. What is the source that Yaakov would raise all of them? Perhaps one of his wives was pregnant! Must we say that all of them were Nidah, and surely not pregnant?? (PF)
QUESTIONS ON RASHI
Rashi writes: "He was troubled that he might kill others." Why did this trouble him? The law is that, "if someone is coming to kill you, hurry and kill him [first]!" (Sanhedrin 72a)?
Gur Aryeh #1: He was afraid of the curse of his father Yitzchak, were he to kill Esav. 1
Gur Aryeh #2: Yaakov was concerned that perhaps Esav's men came along only to scare Yaakov, not to kill him. Yaakov was troubled lest he kill some of Esav's men without justification. 2
Gur Aryeh points out that Rashi writes, "lest he kill others;" Rashi does not mention killing Esav specifically.
Gur Aryeh: But either way - if Yaakov is permitted to kill Esav's men, he need not be troubled; and if he is forbidden, he must refrain from killing them! Rather, because they accompanied Esav, Yaakov may indeed presume that they intend to murder, and he is permitted to kill them first. Nevertheless, Yaakov was troubled that if that was not their true intent, his act would be akin to an unintentional sin, and liable to punishment.
Rashi writes: "[Yaakov] feared, lest he be killed...." Why was Yaakov afraid? Hashem had promised to accompany him and protect him (28:15)? When Hashem promises to bestow good, He does not renege (Berachos 7a)!
Gur Aryeh: There is a fundamental difference between an assurance (Havtachah) and a prophecy (Nevu'ah). An assurance can be changed because it is dependent on the recipient's merit. A prophecy, however ,is Hashem's decree; it is independently true and will be fulfilled. This is why prophecy is usually related in the past tense; it is already a reality. 1
Compare to 28:20:152.1. Gur Aryeh also discusses the Rambam's approach to this issue.
