1)

(a)The Beraisa quoted by the Beraisa-expert in front of Rav Nachman, says that when people upset their parents Tza'ar it is as if they had upset Hash-m.

(b)

1. Rebbi Yitzchak learns from the Pasuk in Yeshayah "Koh Amar Hash-m, ha'Shamayim Kis'i, v'ha'Aretz Hadom Raglai" that when someone sins in secret (because he thinks that nobody sees him), it is as if he was pushing the Shechinah's feet out of this world.

2. Rebbi Yehoshua ben Levi learns from the Pasuk there "Melo Chol ha'Aretz Kevodo" that it is forbidden to walk with one's head held high.

(c)Rav Huna Brei d'Rav Yehoshua would not walk four Amos with his head uncovered because he explained, the Shechinah was above his head.

2)

(a)When the son of a widow asked Rebbi Eliezer what he should do if both his father and his mother asked him for a drink of water, he replied that he should serve his father, since his mother, like himself, was obligated to honor his father.

(b)Rebbi Yehoshua concurred with Rebbi Eliezer's ruling. When the same man repeated the question, but in a case where his mother was divorced he told him to place a cup of water between them and cluck like one clucks at a chicken.

(c)What he meant ...

1. ... was that his obligation towards both of them was equal, and he answered him in such a comical way because he realized that the She'eilah was not a practical one.

2. ... 'mi'Bein Risei Einecha Nikar she'Ben Almanah Atah', he meant that he could see from the fact that his eye-lashes had fallen out, that he must have cried a lot (a common thing to do upon losing one's parents (and he realized that that it was his father who had died and not his mother, because his She'eilah pertained to his mother).

3)

(a)Ula Rabah Darshened at the entrance to the Bei Nesi'a that the Pasuk in Tehilim "Yoducha Hash-m Kol Malchei Eretz Ki Sham'u Imrei Ficha is written in the plural because it refers to two of the Aseres ha'Dibros (counting "Anochi" and "Lo Yiheyeh" as one).

(b)When the kings heard ...

1. ... "Anochi" and "Lo Yiheyeh Lecha" they contended that Hash-m (kiv'Yachol) was only concerned with His own personal Kavod.

2. ... "Kabeid Es Avicha v'Es Imecha" they realized that their original contention was unfounded, and that He really cared about the well-being of Klal Yisrael (and that it was given for them to learn gratitude ... ). Because if they had to be grateful to their parents for bringing them into the world, then how much more so to Hash-m. who not only brought them into the world, but to whom they also owe their very lives.

(c)Rava explained the Pasuk "Rosh Devarcha Emes" in light of what we just learned (that 'the kings declared that Hash-m's opening words ["Anochi" and "Lo Yiheyeh Lecha"] were true, when they heard His subsequent words ["Kabeid Es Avicha ... "] (like Ula Rabah learned from "Yoducha Hash-m Kol Malchei Eretz".

4)

(a)Dama ben Nesinah was a Nochri who resided in Ashkelon, and who displayed exceptional honor towards his parents.

(b)The story that is related about him to answer the She'eilah as to the extent of Kibud Av va'Eim, by ...

1. ... Rav Ula is that when the Chachamim came to purchase from him goods to the value of six hundred thousand golden Dinarim (fifteen million Zuz), he refused to wake his father, under whose cushion lay the key to obtain the goods (even though it meant losing the sale).

2. ... Rav Yehudah Amar Shmuel quoting Rebbi Eliezer in a Beraisa is the same, only this time they wanted onyx-stones for the Efod (or precious stones for the Choshen).

(c)According to the text in the Beraisa, the same amount was involved here as in the first episode. According to Rav Kahana it was eight hundred thousand golden Dinarim.

(d)Hash-m rewarded Dama ben Nesinah by arranging for a red heifer to be born in his herd the following year. He informed the Chachamim that even though he knew they would pay any price, he would only charge them the amount that he lost the previous year by honoring his father.

5)

(a)A Jew who showed his parents the same respect as Dama ben Nesinah, would receive an even greater reward, based on a statement by Rebbi Chanina who said that someone who performs an act which he is obligated to perform is greater than someone who volunteers to perform it.

(b)The reason for this is because someone who is obligated to perform a Mitzvah, worries that he may not manage to fulfill it, whereas the person who volunteers, knowing that he can withdraw at any time with impunity, does not have this worry (Tosfos, DH 'Gadol') and the Mishnah in Pirkei Avos teaches 'the reward is commensurate with the Tza'ar' (i.e. the effort and loss involved).

(c)Initially, Rav Yosef, who was blind, would arrange a feast on behalf of whoever would rule like Rebbi Yehudah who maintained that a blind man is exempt from the Mitzvos, and Rav Yosef, who was himself blind, thought at first, that someone who volunteers to perform an act is greater than someone who is obligated to perform it.

(d)What made him change his mind was Rebbi Chanina's statement.

6)

(a)When Rav Dimi came from Eretz Yisrael, he added that once Dama ben Nesinah was sitting in the company of the highest Roman dignitaries, when his mother (who was senile) arrived. She tore the silk garment (embroidered with golden threads) that he was wearing from him, beat him on the head and spat in his face, yet he did not retaliate.

(b)Avimi Brei d'Rav Avahu describes how one can feed one's father quails and be driven out of the world for it by serving him food with a scowl (demonstrating one's reluctance) rather than with a smile (like the story of the son who, when his father asked him where he obtained such wonderful food, told him to mind his own business and eat).

(c)And it is also possible to earn a portion in the World to Come for increasing one's father's work-load like the son who undertook to work for the king (for an indefinite period) in place of his father, inviting his father to grind the corn instead of him (because that was easier than working for the king).

(d)Avimi didn't just Darshen. He also practiced what he preached, as described by his father Rebbi Avahu. When Rebbi Avahu would arrive home, Avimi would run to open the door, shouting 'I'm coming! I'm coming', as he ran; and this, despite the fact that he already had three sons with Semichah (who could have opened the door for his father).

7)

(a)When Avimi once brought his father Rebbi Avahu, the glass of water that he had requested he found that he had fallen asleep, so he waited there, bent over his father with the glass of water waiting for him to wake up.

(b)Whilst he was waiting for his father to wake up, a wonderful Devar Torah occurred to him. He Darshened from the Pasuk in Tehilim (written in connection with the destruction of the Beis ha'Mikdash) "Mizmor l'Asaf" (when one would have expected the Pasuk to write "Kinah l'Asaf") that Asaf sang (rather than lamented) because he realized that when Hash-m poured out his wrath on the wood and stones, it was an act of Chesed inasmuch as in so doing, He spare the people.

(c)Rav Yakov bar Avuha's problem in fulfilling the Mitzvah of Kibud Av va'Eim was based on his parents' fussing over him, to the point that, the moment he returned from Yeshivah, his father would run to pour him out a glass of wine, and his mother would dilute it.

(d)Abaye advised him to accept the service of his mother but not that of his father who was a Talmid-Chacham, and would therefore resent it if he did accept it.

8)

(a)

1. Rebbi Tarfon used to honor his mother by going down on all fours for her to climb in and out of bed via his back.

2. When Rebbi Tarfon's mother (see Maharshal) boasted about her son's phenomenal Kibud Av va'Eim, the Chachamim commented that he had not reached even a half of the ideal Kibud Av va'Eim, and that he would only achieve that when he allowed his mother to throw his purse into the sea without retaliating.

(b)When Rav Yosef used to hear his mother's footsteps approaching, he would to announce 'Let me stand up before the Shechinah!'

(c)Rebbi Yochanan never saw his parents because his father died on the day that he was conceived, and his mother, on the day that he was born.

(d)He commented that in a way he was fortunate, as it is impossible to show them the respect that they deserve, and one is bound to fall short in one's obligations towards them.

9)

(a)Abaye never saw his parents either.

(b)We reconcile this with the fact that he would often declare 'Amrah Li Eim' by interpreting 'Eim' to mean his nanny (the foster-mother who brought him up).

(c)Rav Asi did whatever he could for his elderly mother. What eventually made him leave her to go and live in Eretz Yisrael was her request for a husband who looked as handsome as him (which convinced him that she was senile).

(d)When Rav Asi heard that his mother had followed him and was on her way to Eretz Yisrael, he went and asked Rebbi Yochanan whether he was permitted to leave Eretz Yisrael to go and greet her.

10)

(a)Rebbi Yochanan replied in the negative because he thought that Rav Asi wanted to leave Eretz Yisrael permanently.

(b)Rebbi Yochanan told him ...

1. ... initially that he did not know, and that he should wait a little and then ask him again.

2. ... when he asked him a second time that since he was bent on leaving Eretz Yisrael, Hash-m should return him (to Bavel) in peace.

(c)When Rav Asi asked Rebbi Elazar whether Rebbi Yochanan's reply denoted anger he replied that, if he had been angry, he would not have given him a Berachah.

(d)When Rav Asi heard that, in the meantime, his mother had died, he commented that, had he known (how much his mother really doted over him, and that his leaving would bring about her demise), he would never have left Bavel in the first place.

11)

(a)The Tana of the Beraisa states that one honors one's father both during his lifetime and after his death. The Tana is speaking exclusively about matters to do with speech. To honor his father ...

1. ... during his lifetime he should (assuming that people respect his father), always ask for the people to send him on errands and suchlike for his father's sake rather than for his own.

2. ... after his death after referring to him, he should always add 'Hareini Kaparas Mishkavo' (meaning that one accepts any punishment that his father is due to receive.

(b)The latter applies up to twelve months after which time, most people are in any case taken out of Gehinom and placed in Gan Eden. After that, he should say instead 'Zichrono li'Verachah l'Chayei ha'Olam ha'Ba'.

(c)Another Beraisa states that the translator does not change 'the name of his father or his Rebbi' (when translating what the Darshen said). The Tana is referring to the father and Rebbi of the Darshen (not of the translator himself, which there is no reason to permit).

(d)We cite as an example Mar bar Rav Ashi, who would say to the translator 'Aba Mari,' in place of which the translator would say to the people 'Rav Ashi.'

12)

(a)Besides not standing or sitting in one's father's fixed place, the Beraisa lists as examples of respecting one's father (or mother) not contradicting him and not siding with his disputants (see Shulchan Aruch, who explains it to mean that he should not even side with him, so as not to convey the impression that his father needs his approval).

(b)Besides providing him with food and drink, clothing him and covering him, the two other things that the Tana lists as examples of honoring him are accompanying him in, and accompanying him out.

(c)In lieu of covering him, others obligate one to buy him shoes.