More Discussions for this daf
1. Tefilin on the first day of Aveilus 2. Does one mourn the loss of parents more than the loss of children? 3. Does one mourn the loss of parents more than the loss of children?
4. פטור מצות תפילין באבל
DAF DISCUSSIONS - MOED KATAN 21

alex lebovits asked:

The Gem. differentiates between someone who suffered the loss of his father and mother and between the loss of other relatives. And the Gem allows tanchumin after 12 months for a father and mother; seemingly because a person feels bad longer for parents than other relatives.

My question is that we know that a person loves his children more than his parents and therefore the distiction should be made with all other relatives on one side, versus parents and children on the other. And children should be considered together, or perhaps even more than parents, as far as tanchumimin is concerned. Why does the Gem. only allow it for the loss of parents alone and seemingly lumps all the other relatives together on the other side?

Have a Chag Kosher Ve'Sameach

Alex Lebovits

alex lebovits, toronto, canada

The Kollel replies:

Although the loss of a child, Lo Aleinu, is extremely difficult, it is a different sort of loss. The loss of a parent is losing someone who the child usually looks up to as their role model and bastion in life. A parent's loss can give someone the Halachic status of a "Yasom" -- "orphan." Their loss affects a person more deeply, as it takes away their support system. Losing a child, on the other hand, does not essentially change a person's position in life, as people are not usually supported (emotionally, physically, financially) by their children. This is not to downplay the loss of a child in any way (may we never have such tragedies).

All the best,

Yaakov Montrose