I wanted to know if marital relations is a mitzva. I always thought it was a heicha timtza (a way of getting) to the mitzva of "Peru U'rvu"- having children. I was learning the gemara in kesuvos and I saw that we make sure to put the dead (of the chosson or kalla) into a separate room, preform the chuppa and bia, bury the niftar and then have sheva berachos while the chosson and kalla are forbidden to have relations because they are in middle of aveilus. Isn't there a concept of "aseh doche lo saseh", that since there is a mitzva of marital relations- one can override the aveilus- especially since aveilus isn't even a lo saseh!
It sounds like there is no actual mitzva of marital relations or else it would push off aveilus. And don't tell me that only the first biah that is done is a mitzva because first of all tosfos says that it is only called "bias mitzva"- because of a pasuk- and i remember learning that the first relations usually doesn't cause a child to be born - it is usually because of later relations.
Thank you very much for taking this question. I really enjoy all the work you do for the torah world
moshe, brooklyn, NY USA
The point of "Aseh Docheh Lo Saseh" is not relevant here, as the Rabbinic law that an Avel cannot have relations, and similarly the Rabbinic law not to have relations on Tisha ba'Av, takes into account that there is a Mitzvah of Peru u'Revu and yet it should not be done on this day. The Rabanan have the ability to make such decrees.
In my Sefer Halachic World (Feldheim, Vol. 1, Parshas Bereishis), I explanained that there is an argument about when a person fulfills Peru u'Revu. Rav Tzvi Pesach Frank and R' Moshe Feinstein ruled based on the opinion of Tosfos in Bava Basra (13a) that one indeed fulfills Peru u'Revu by having marital relations (more accurately, at the end of having marital relations). The Minchas Chinuch argues that one only fulfills the Mitzvah upon having a boy and girl, but realizes that Tosfos does not seem to agree with his opinion. [See article at length.]
All the best,
Yaakov Montrose