If Yakov did not go to Charan, would he have met Rochel anyway? Would she have gone to Israel?
1) The Bereshis Rabba's point on the beginning of Vayetze is not conclusive.
The same Posuk is used at the beginning of Sota to prove the exact opposite!
Therefore, there is no definitive proof from this Posuk.
Please give appropriate sources for all information. I understand that as a practical matter, this is a moot point. Nevertheless, it is the principle which I am interested in. Thank you.
New York, United States
1. Although a person's spouse is pre-ordained, since it is a Mitzvah, marriage is subject to Bechirah, free choice, just like any other Mitzvah. If a person chooses not to marry, he will not be made to marry his pre-ordained spouse against his will. If he does choose to marry, but decides to forego the proper match which was designated to him and to choose an improper woman instead, so be it. The Gemara that says "Bas Peloni l'Peloni" simply means that Hash-m makes it easier for a person who is interested in finding a proper match, to find that match (see TASHBETZ 2:1 and MAHARAL to Sotah 2a (end of first piece); see also TESHUVOS HA'RAMBAM #345, cited by the Tashbetz there).
Therefore, if a person concludes that he is supposed to travel at length in order to find his proper match (either because his parents direct him to do so, or through some other Halachic process), and he chooses to ignore the Halachic reasoning obligating him to travel and remains at home instead, he will not necessarily meet his pre-ordained at home.
2. Sometimes it is Hash-m's will that certain people meet and marry each other. At such times, He sees to it that they meet, whether or not they are looking for each other (see Bereishis Raba 65:2).
3. I am not sure to which Pasuk you are referring when you write that the Midrash in Vayetzei (68:4) explains it differently from the way that is explained by the Gemara in Stoah 2a. The two sources learn the exact same lesson from the verse "Moshiv Yechidim" (i.e. that it is very hard to make matches).
M. Kornfeld
Thank you very much for your answer. I will look up the Teshuvos, etc.
I don't remember the source but I was told a story that Shlomo found by Ruach HaKodesh that his daughter, Princess of Israel, would marry a pauper. To test this, he locked her in a tower on a deserted island totally isolated from any man but with enough food, supplies, etc. One day, however, a Jewish sailor was shipwrecked and found the tower. They met, fell in love, and married. They then returned to Eretz Yisrael. (It might have been in Shir Hashirim Rabba).
Thank you very much for your time.
S. Mauner
Sorry, I am not aware of such a story in the Midrash.
M. Kornfeld
The source for this story is the Mevo to the Midrash Tanchuma (Buber) page 68b.
Kol Tuv,
Yitzchok Zirkind