Recently in Daf yomi there has been some discussions about Biah shelo kedarcah. I am aware that there is a Teshuvah from Rav Moshe Feinstein on this subject. However as with any teshuvah in print, one must be careful when trying to draw any conclusions.
1) It seems that this is Mutar for a man to do, as long as she is not an Ervah. Why is there no mention of mashchis zera levatolah?
2) Since this is an unnatural act, not in the way Hash-m created us, wouldn't this be painful to the ishah and far from fulfilling his chiyuv Onah which is to make her happy.
3) What are the parameters of the isur of mashchis zera levatolah. I was under the impression from the story of Er and Onein, that 'wasting' is doing anything to put the zera anywhere except be'oso makom of the Ishah?
4) If a man is fulfilling his Chiyuv Onah and is being mefayeis her prior to biah, and he emits some zera, is that levatola as he is involved in the Mitzvah.
5) In regards to the isur of mishcav zachor, they violate by engaging in biah shelo kedarcah. Is any kind of Hara'ah enough to make one chayav, or is more penetration necessary.
Thank you
Kol Tuv
1) Tosfos in Yevamos 34b DH v'Lo discusses this point. The Rema in Even ha'Ezer quotes two opinions. The Halachah is that it is not permissible if the act will involve Zera l'Vatalah (Beis Yosef and Aruch ha'Shulchan ibid.)
2) Rashi Al ha'Torah says, like you suggest, that it is painful for the woman. I presume that it would only be permissible with the woman's consent.
3) This is correct, see 1) above. Tosfos quoted above brings a different opinion but this is not accepted l'Halachah.
4) This is not a Heter. See Igros Moshe (EH 4:66).
5) Hera'ah is sufficient (Yevamos 54b, Rambam Issurei Bi'ah 1:14).
Dov Freedman