The Maharil gives a personal opinion to prohibit someone from giving manos to an avel during 12 months, and the Rema agrees. Yet shaloch manos was a decree of a Sanhedrin and the 12 month stringency (except for attending celebrations) is merely a custom. Yet here we find a mere subjective feeling regarding "greeting" eliminating an explicit decree of the Sanhedrin to give shaloch manos to someone who happens to be a mourner based on a mere stringent custom of the 12 months. How do we understand this?
David Goldman, USA
There is a Mitzvah to give Mishlo'ach Manos but there is no specific Mitzvah to receive Mishlo'ach Manos. Therefore, there is no need to give the Mishlo'ach Manos to the mourner because one can fulfill the Mitzvah by giving it to someone else.
Purim Sameach,
Dovid Bloom
Yes, thanks. I was addressing the kasha to the logic of the statement of the Maharil endorsed by the Rema.
The Darkei Moshe (the longer version of the Rema) OC 696:4 writes that if the only two people who live in town are the mourner and his friend, then the friend is obligated to fulfill the Mitzvah of Mishlo'ach Manos by sending them to the Avel. In other words, the practice of the Maharil does not apply if it means that, as a result, someone will lose the Mitzvah of giving Mishlo'ach Manos.
Kol Tuv,
Dovid Bloom