What did Yaakov mean when he said, "Katonti... "?
Rashi and Targum Onkelos: My merits diminished due to all the good that You did with me. Perhaps I sinned after You promised [to protect me], 1 and Esav will defeat me. 2
Ramban, Targum Yonasan, Seforno and Rashbam: He meant that he was not worthy of all the good that Hashem had performed with him.
Sanhedrin 39b: This teaches us that one should never stand in a location of danger and assume that Hashem will perform a miracle - because who says that He will? And even if He will, He will detract from one's stock of merits.
Malbim: I declined in Bitachon. I left my father's house without anything, and I was not afraid. Now I am two Machanos. I should have grown in Bitachon - but I prepared for war, and I am afraid!
Oznayim la'Torah, citing the Rambam, asks from Berachos 4a - that Hashem never went back on His word to do good - to do bad instead? Citing his Rebbi, R' Eliezer Gordon, the Telzer Rosh Yeshivah in the name of R. Chayim mi'Volozhin, he answers with the following illustration - If Reuven hires Shimon to work for him, and Shimon fails to do anything, a kind hirer may well wish to keep his side of the bargain and pay him anyway. However, if he hires him to look after an object and, due to his carelessness, the article is stolen, or even if he breaks the article, Reuven might forego the damage that Shimon caused, but he will not pay him for guarding the article - despite the undertaking to do so, since letting him off payment is akin to the undertaking to pay him. By the same token, if, as Yaakov feared, he was guilty of sinning, Hashem might fulfill his undertaking to guard him by not punishing him for his sins, but would be absolved from his promise to guard him.
See Ramban who refutes Rashi's explanation.
What is the difference between "Chesed' and "Emes"?
Rashi: "Chesed" refers to the acts of kindness that Hashem promised to perform with Yaakov, and "Emes" to His having kept them.
Ramban and Targum Yonasan: "Chesed" refers to the acts of kindness that Hashem had performed with him without having promised him, and "Emes" to those that He had promised him and kept His promise.
Seforno: "Emes" refers to Chasadim that Hashem did for akin the merit of his fathers.
Targum Onkelos, according to Ramban: Chesed is all the times that Hashem had saved him in time of trouble, and Emes is good things that Hashem had granted him - children, riches, property and Kavod.
Mishnas R. Aharon Vol. 3, p. 120: Emes is the Torah - "Titen Emes l'Yaakov" (Michah 7:20).
Ohr ha'Chayim: When one steals from someone, Hashem replaces his loss, but the victim is still pained, for he feels that the thief profited. When Hashem returns the money to him from the thief, he is fully satisfied. Hashem did this for Yaakov - Lavan stole from him, and Hashem returned to him from Lavan's flock. This is "mi'Kol ha'Emes."
Ha'amek Davar: Chesed is wealth. Emes is that Yaakov's seed will be the chosen nation for eternity. This is the true good!
What did Yaakov mean when he said that he crossed the Yarden "with his stick"?
Rashi: He meant that when he arrived in Charan he possessed no silver, no gold and no cattle; only his stick. 1
Rashi #2: He stuck out his stick over the Yarden, and it split. 2
Seforno (to 29:18): He meant that when he crossed the Yarden, he did not possess any property or any means to earn income - but not that he was penniless. 3
Because Elifaz (Esav's son) had stripped him of all his possessions (Refer to 29:11:2:2*).
Lev Eliyahu (Bereishis, p. 188): If Yaakov, the Ish on the Merkavah, can split the Yarden, can he not break through Esav's heart?! Correct! To break a Midah is harder than to split the Yarden.
Seforno: He must have had sufficient funds to provide for his wives and children during the 14 years that he worked for Lavan. Refer to Bereishis 29:18:1.1:1.
Why did Yaakov attribute Hashem's benefits to himself? Due to humility, he should have attributed them to his father and grandfather!
Peninim mi'Shulchan ha'Gra: For the future, one should request in the merit of his fathers. For the past, one should attribute Hashem's benefits to himself, to lower himself, like Yaakov did. A Chacham should have an eighth of an eighth of pride - i.e. like this verse, the eighth of the eighth Parshah.
Why did Yaakov mention "Chesed' before "Emes"? We usually begin with the smaller Chidush!
Ohr ha'Chayim: One cannot 'pay' Hashem for any Chesed that He does (Iyov 35:7), so all His Chesed is Chesed of Emes (without expecting anything in return), like Chesed that people do for a Mes.
QUESTIONS ON RASHI
Rashi writes: "'Katonti...' - My merits have been depleted due to Your kindnesses... therefore I am afraid, for perhaps since [the time that] you promised [to protect] me, I have become sullied by sin...." Why does Rashi give two reasons that Yaakov was afraid - both his depleted merits, and that perhaps he had sinned?
Gur Aryeh: a) Hashem had not made His promise of protection contingent upon an abundance of merits; only sin would be liable to annul the promise. b) If Yaakov's merits had not been depleted, those merits could have counteracted any minor sins that he had committed. Yaakov feared that he had recently sinned, and with his merits in a depleted state, he was afraid.
Rashi writes: "My merits have been depleted due to Your kindnesses...." But those kindnesses took place before Hashem's promise (in 31:3 - a promise that Yaakov had just invoked (see Rashi to 32:10)). If so, why was Yaakov afraid?
Gur Aryeh: Yaakov's primary concern was that he had sinned. He added that he could not rely on his prior merits to counteract those sins, for they had been depleted by Hashem's prior kindnesses in the house of Lavan. All that remained was Hashem's promise, and Yaakov worried that he had sinned subsequent to that promise.
Rashi writes: " ... Perhaps since [the time that] you promised [to protect] me, I have become sullied by sin." If Yaakov feared that sin would annul that promise, why does he soon invoke the promise again (32:13)?
Gur Aryeh: This was exactly Yaakov's request. Since Hashem had indeed promised, Yaakov asked that along with the merit of his prayers, the promise should yet be fulfilled.
Rashi writes: " Perhaps... I have become sullied by sin." Why was Yaakov afraid; when Hashem promises to bestow good, He does not renege (Berachos 7a)?
Gur Aryeh: Refer to 32:8:4.1:1.
Rashi writes: "'For with my staff' - I had [nothing] with me, only my staff. And a homiletic Midrash - Yaakov had placed his staff in the Jordan, and it split [for him]." Why does Rashi give two interpretations?
Gur Aryeh: Yaakov could have said, 'I came here only with my staff;' yet he mentions the Jordan specifically, due to the miracle through which Hashem allowed him to cross. He then says, "... and now I have become two camps," implying that initially he had nothing.
