Why does Yehudah make reference to their initial meeting with Yosef?
Rashi and Rashbam: He is subtly placing the blame for the current situation at Yosef's door 1 - for initially questioning them about their family, though this was totally uncalled for.
Ramban #1: He was merely pleading with Yosef to have pity on their father and to take him instead of Binyamin, as in any case, he was all-round more capable than him. 2 All the rest was merely to stress that they had been forced to bring Binyamin down against their will and the will of their father, though they were in no way accusing Yosef of acting unjustly. 3
Ramban #2: Alternatively, he was blaming Yosef 4 for having forced them to bring down Binyamin, intimating that the episode with the goblet was done deliberately to libel them. 5 And he was now appealing to him to keep his word and, having set eyes on him, to send him home, and not to behave like Pharaoh, who did not adhere to his word. 6
Seforno (to 44:20,24): Yehudah was reminding Yosef how they had pleaded with him not to send for Binyamin, whom their father had not sent with them due to the unbreakable bond that existed between them, 7 and how he had ignored his request and unjustly demanded that they bring him down with them.
Riva: Since you asked us to bring him, even if he sinned against you, you should not keep him, for a ruler should keep his word. You said that you will put your eye on (guard) him!
For causing them to bring Binyamin down to see him; and to now retain him as a slave would be profane.
Ramban: Since whatever the circumstances, they did not justify Binyamin stealing the goblet.
Ramban: Yehudah did not accuse Yosef directly, but by way of a subtle hint. (Refer also to 44:31:1:1).
A proof of this is the personal uncalled-for questions that he asked them about their family, as the Midrash explains (see Rashi).
In keeping with the Midrash (refer to 44:18:5:3). The Rashbam puts it more strongly. He explains that when Yosef asked to set eyes on him, that meant, irrespective of whatever evil he may perpetrate, and that it would therefore be a disgrace for a man in his position to go back on his word.
Seforno: And not because Yaakov had sent them to spy out the land, as Yosef had claimed.
Why does it say "Leimor"?
Ohr ha'Chayim #1: This was not like one who asks his colleague - a colleague may refrain from answering. "Adoni Sha'al Es Avadav" - we were forced to answer truthfully!
Ohr ha'Chayim #2: Because you accused us of being spies, we were forced to tell even matters not relevant to the case.
Where do we find that Yosef asked if they had a [living] father or [another] brother?
Riva #1, citing R"M of Kutzi: Since he called them spies, they needed to say whether they had a father and brother. 1
Riva #2, citing R. Efrayim: From their answer, "We are 12 brothers... the smallest is with our father..." (42:13), we learn that Yosef asked if they had a father or brother.
Refer to 42:21:2:3, and the note there.
Malbim citing Mahari: He did not! 2 This is said in astonishment. Malbim, citing the Akeidah - We spoke l'Fi Tumo (innocently, unaware of the consequences). Surely we said the Emes, that our brother is a tender youth; 3 you cannot decree slavery on him, lest he die, just like we do not lash a sinner as much as he deserves, if he would die from this. 4
Ha'amek Davar: The brothers told Yaakov, "the man asked about us... is your father still alive? Do you have a brother?" (43:7).
How can Mahari reject Ha'amek Davar's source? Refer to 44:19:151:5. (PF)
What is the source that slavery can kill a youth? And Binyamin was 30 at the time, which is the age for strength (Avos 5:21)! (PF)
Makos 3:11. (I know of no source not to sell a thief into slavery lest he die from this. A master may not demand that his slave work so hard that he could die! Perhaps Yehudah meant that a king, who can override the law when needed, should be concerned for this. - PF)
QUESTIONS ON RASHI
Rashi writes: "'My master inquired [about our family]' - You were scheming against us from the outset!" Why interpret this as an accusation?
Gur Aryeh: Yehudah had said, "May your wrath not flare [against me]" (44:18); this shows that Yehudah spoke harshly (Rashi loc. cit). Rashi therefore prefers to interpret this verse as a harsh accusation. 1
Gur Aryeh: ... rather than simply as the beginning of his explanation as to why Binyamin needed to return home. Refer to 44:18:4.1:2.
Rashi writes: "'My master inquired [about our family]' - ... Why would you need to ask all this... ?" Perhaps the viceroy decided to investigate their family, due to his suspicion that they were spies?
Gur Aryeh: If he truly suspected them to be spies, the most direct question to ask them would have been, 'in what place do you reside?' They could then produce witnesses as to their innocence, and be exonerated. 1
Also see Rav Hartman's notes in the Mechon Yerushalayim edition. (EK)
Rashi writes: "'My master inquired [about our family]' - ... Were we seeking [to marry] your daughter; or do you seek [to marry] our sister?!" Why does Rashi use different relatives in each case?
Mizrachi: The brothers phrased this so as to attribute more honor to the viceroy. Were they to marry his daughter, they would need to honor him as their father-in law; were he to marry their sister, she would be subservient to him as her husband.
Gur Aryeh: The viceroy asked specifically, "Do you have a father or brother;" these questions are more relevant if he wished to marry Yaakov's daughter, more so than if he wished to marry Yaakov's granddaughter. They mentioned Yosef's daughter, which is closer than a sister.
Rashi writes: "... Nevertheless, 'We said unto my master...' (44:20); we did not withhold any [information]!" Why interpret this way?
Gur Aryeh: This is implied by their response in the next Pasuk, which otherwise would be superfluous.
