What additional lessons can we learn from Yaakov's efforts to avoid Esav's company (Ma'aseh Avos Siman l'Banim)?
Ramban: Yaakov taught us here to safeguard our money (and our lives) by avoiding the company of our Roman captors while in Galus. 1
Malbim (to 33:17): Esav wanted Yaakov to go to Se'ir, and they will share equally this world and the world to come. Through Hashem's Hashgachah, Yaakov evaded him. Also in the future, Jews will be submissive to Esav and appease them with money, and Esav will want to go together. Yaakov will refuse; Esav will be in front and seize power initially, until, "v'Alu Moshi'im... Lishpot Es Har Esav" (Ovadyah 1:21).
Indeed, due to the tradition that this is the Parshah of Galus, whenever Rebbi Yanai traveled to Rome, he made a point of studying the current Parshah, and of subsequently not traveling in the company of Romans. On the one occasion that he forgot and traveled together with some Romans, he was forced to sell his valuable coat (Ramban).
Rashi (to 33:16) writes that all of Esav's men deserted him. Whom did Esav suggest to leave with Yaakov?
Riva, citing R. Elyakim: Esav took with him 400 officers, each of whom was over 400 men (Bereishis Rabah 75:15). The officers slipped away, and the men under them remained. 1
Rashi infers from the singular ('va'Yashov' 33:16) that Esav returned alone! Perhaps just like the Torah counted only the officers and ignored the plain soldiers, also there it ignores the plain soldiers. (PF)
What was Yaakov's refusal of Esav's offer?
Ohr ha'Chayim: Rather than showing your love now [via leaving some of your men with me], I prefer to continue to have grace in your eyes in the future. 1
Malbim: It suffices to have grace in your eyes; if you will not harm me, I do not fear anyone [so I do not need your men].
Ha'amek Davar (to 33:15,16): Esav sought closeness to Yaakov. Yaakov answered that Esav's men would be a burden to Yaakov. I.e. Yaakov's love for Esav was needed for now (lest Esav fight him), but he does not desire closeness to him. Yaakov dwells alone (Devarim 33:28)! Esav was upset, and did not speak more to him, but he did not try to harm him. Esav left slightly angry. They did not depart with a kiss. Yaakov understood that he would not honor him in Se'ir, so he never went.
It is not clear how these oppose each other. Esav could say, take my men, and you will have even more grace in my eyes in the future! (PF)
QUESTIONS ON RASHI
Rashi writes: "Let me find favor in your eyes - Do not do anything for me at this time." Seemingly, if Yaakov had found favor in Esav's eyes, that would be more of a reason to leave men to escort him?
Gur Aryeh #1: Esav wanted to do some favor for Yaakov, for a giver derives benefit when an important person accepts his gift. 1 Yaakov did not want this; he asked Esav, as a favor, that he not do this.
Gur Aryeh #2: Esav 'owed' Yaakov some sort of gratitude for the gift he had just accepted. He planned to leave some escorts with Yaakov and absolve himself of this obligation. Yaakov asked Esav, as a favor, that he repay the favor at a later time.
Gur Aryeh: See Kidushin 7a.
