Question: Tosefot d'h "ho'eel"
On the subject of making havdala, we seemed to conclude in our shi'ur today that
if the "olam" is standing and listening to havdala, the "mevoreich" must also stand
in order to "join" them and be "motzei" them. If the "olam" is sitting, then the
"mevoreich" sits as well. Doesn't Tosefot conclude that even if the "mevoreich" is
sitting and the "olam" standing (or vice versa), that everyone has come to this moment
with being "yotzei" the havdala in mind, so the principle of "migu" will work. - so it
seems that it's the intention of those listening that is operative.
Someone in the shi'ur said that they knew that Rav Soloveitchik's (zt"l) personal
custom was to stand during havdala, and the prevailing custom in the Yeshiva was to
sit, so he never made havdala for the "olam". On the other hand, I personally saw
Rav Shlomo Freifeld sit while making havdala for the "olam" that was standing.
What is the proper way to behave?
sincerely,
Jeff Ram
Jerusalem
1) Tosfos concludes that it is best for everyone to sit down. If the Mevarech is sitting and everyone else is standing, this is not considered a "Kevi'us" together.
It is not clear to me that everyone standing is the same as everyone sitting, and that it is only a matter of the Mevarech joining the listeners. Rather, sitting is an act of relative permanence; when we sit down together, we have established ourselves in this place and we are considered to be "together." Standing in one place does not establish us to be in this place together. (Rav Binyamin Zilber, in She'eilos u'Teshuvos Az Nidberu, also explains it like this.)
Tosfos was bothered by the common practice in his time -- that they did not sit for the blessing over wine in Havdalah. He suggests a possible justification for their practice with the Chidush that since everyone has in mind to establish themselves as one group to be Yotzei the blessing for Havdalah, they are also Yotzei the blessing on wine, even though they are not sitting down. You are correct that the underlying basis of Tosfos' Chidush is that it is the intention of the listeners (and the Mevarech) that is operative. (That is a Chidush , because in order to establish ourselves together as one group, it seems much more logical that we would have to do something physical, like sit down.)
2) There are customs to behave in both ways, everyone standing, or everyone sitting.
For some to stand and some to sit is not the proper practice, but some places do it like that only because some people have the custom to stand and some to sit. In the large and established Yeshivas, everyone sits (except for a few bachurim who do not know that they are supposed to sit). If one does not have a family custom, it seems that the best practice would be to sit.
Rav Soloveitchek did not say Havdalah for the yeshiva because it was the custom in the yeshiva for the Mevarech to sit as well as the listeners. I wonder, though, if he was Yotzei with the Havdalah recited for the entire yeshiva (and did he stand while everyone else sat), or did he make Havdalah on his own, standing?
Best regards,
Yisroel Shaw