Bechvod HaRav,
We learn in the gemorra that a yevoma who falls to the brother, who is a metsora,- that the lady can "opt out" & just halitza is done.
Yet we also learn in 8B "v'yimba al karche" - in other words she has no say in the matter. Is this the halacha?
(I am aware that yibum is not practised now in general, although there are occasions - e.g. where the male has no leg - where it can be the only option}
With Torah greetings
menahem
Rebbi and the Rabbanan dispute the source for Yibum against the Yevamah's will, but they both agree that this is the Halachah. In that case, you can be rest assured that it is Halachah. And Sure enough, the Shulchan Aruch in Siman 167:7 Paskens like this.
Just as Hash-m sometimes decrees poverty, ill-health and other kinds of suffering on a person, so too, does He sometimes decree on a person whom he or she must marry, whether they like it or not.
Bear in mind also, that it may well turn out to be a wonderful marriage, and that all too often, a marriage of choice turns out to be a disaster. In fact, I would go even further and say that seeing as this union is based on a Mitzvah, the chances of success are even higher than those that pertain to a regular marriage.
In short, joy and suffering depend on Divine blessing, and are not connected either to one's own efforts or to current circumstances.
Be'Virchas Kol Tuv.
Eliezer Chrysler.