How can buying the wife clothes be the HUSBAND's simcha? My Rosh Yeshiva says that if the wife isn't happy, the husband isn't happy, but it's tough for me to believe that's pshat. After all, whatever you buy her, if you leave her home and go for a week-long holiday eating meat and drinking wine with the buddies, it's NOT going to make her happy!
It is not that the husband is obligated to buy his wife clothes, etc., so that he will have Simchah. Rather, it is his obligation to make sure that his wife has Simchah. The Torah placed the Mitzvah upon the husband, making him obligated to see to it that his wife is happy.
But that's exactly my point! If she has an obligation of simcha, then she should have to appear and join in the shlamim festivities. Like I said, she's not going to very b'simcha wearing her new clothes all alone for Yom Tov...
Randy Lazarus
The obligation is the husband's, not the wife's. But his obligation involves her state of mind; he must make an effort to make her happy on Yom Tov.
Therefore, you are correct in saying that if she will be lonely left behind, he should take her with him to the Mikdash and be Oleh l'Regel. This was in fact the common practice, as can be seen from the story of Elkanah (in the beginning of Shmuel) and from the Midrashim which discuss leaving the house empty during Aliyah l'Regel. However, it is incorrect to state that "she should have to appear and join in the shlamim festivities," since the Torah does not make it incumbent on her to rejoice. Rather, you mean to say that he should be obligated to take her to join the festivities (if she wants to come), and that may very well be correct.
Be well, Mordecai