I have some questions on the sugya I was hoping you could answer.
1. How does the Rebeinu Yonah's peshat of avazraihu work with the sevarah of mi limahdomi didah somek tefi? That sevar does not apply to embarrasing someone else vs giving up your own life.
2. Do you know of any Rishonim who answer the question by saying that those 3 cardinal sins one is chiav to die for. Embarrasing a friend is different but and you have the option to sacrifice your life but you are not chiav to. (This works well with the loshin of the gemara of nuach lo, its nuach lo but not a chiav). If no one says it why do you think no one said it?
If you can help answer my questions it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks alot
Ahron Fishman
1. (a) According to Rabeinu Yonah embarrassing someone is literally similar to killing him because one removes his blood when one makes his face go white. This is similar to spilling blood. Rabeinu Yonah calls this "the dust of murder" i.e. it is not murder itself, but one is obliged to give up one's life even to avoid a transgression which is similar to bloodshed, so one cannot say that saving one's own blood is more important than saving the loss of blood in one's friend's face.
(b) In addition, according to the second reason given by Rabeinu Yonah, that embarrassing someone is more bitter for the victim than being killed, one can also understand why saving one's own blood is not preferable to embarrassing someone else, because the bitterness of being embarrassed is in one sense worse than being murdered. Therefore if one has to sacrifice one's life not to kill someone, one also must sacrifice one's life not to embarrass him.
2. Your pshat about it only being an option and the diyuk from the word "noach" is very nice. I did not find a Rishon who says this pshat but I did find the Yad Shaul, by the author of Shoel u'Maishiv, printed at the end of Shulchan Arukh Yoreh Deah 345:1, who says this. Yad Shaul writes that the chidush of the Gemara is that if someone throws himself into the furnace he does not transgress "v'Nishmartem Meod l'Nashfoseichem" (Devorim 4:15 and Berachos end 32b) by neglecting his life, since he gave up his life to avoid something which is similar to bloodshed.
However your question is still valid - since this seems to be such a good pshat why didn't any of the Rishonim say it? At the moment I do not have answer for this.
Kesivah v'Chasimah Tova
Dovid Bloom