In reference to the discussion of the gemorah in Megillah 23, surely nowadays since the reality is that many woman have entered into the man's world in almost every arena of life, (whether this is accepted by the halachic authorities or not) can we still say that it is not kavod hasibur to given women aliyot. I find this a difficult minhag to understand especially as it is based on the average woman at the time of the mishnah. Is this an example of a minhag that can evolve or are women kind of stuck with the precidence established by the Tenaiim.
The fact that the women are not called to read from the Torah is not a disadvantage for them, as you imply; it is not something that they are "stuck with," but rather it is something that they are privileged to have.
Women and men were created with different roles. One is not greater than the other; they are just different (as is also reflected in their physical makeup). Our Sages have always recognized that the woman is the pillar of Jewish continuity: she is the bearer of the strengths that will ensure not only that the Jewish people stay alive, but that they also thrive. When the family structure breaks down, so breaks the foundation of the nation. The women were entrusted with the responsibility of upholding the foundation. That is a privilege that is not to be taken lightly. As such, the Sages recognized that their involvement in certain areas (particularly those of public exposure) would limit their ability to maintain the high standards which they are expected -- and able -- to maintain for the Jewish nation.
In this context, we can understand the term "Kavod ha'Tzibur" as not simply referring to what the members of the congregation that are gathered in the synagogue will think, since, as you write, many of them won't mind at all. Rather, it is not Kavod for the Tzibur -- the Jewish nation as a whole -- to have its captain doing a menial task on board the ship, while there are much more important and prestigious responsibilities for her to fulfill.
Personally, although I was raised in the modern world which you have described, and I have been part of the work force which has traditionally been the "man's world", my greatest joy is to be with my children, to take an active role in educating and nurturing them so that they, b'Ezras Hash-m, grow up to be dedicated, "erliche" Jews who strive to fulfill the will of Hash-m. Instead of giving me an Aliyah, my sense of fulfillment will come when I see my sons and future generations read from the Torah -- with Kavanah, understanding, and a deep commitment to live by the Torah.
Chani Shaw
P.S. For further exploration into this topic, I recommend Rabbi M. Meiselman's book on Jewish Women in Jewish Law.