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|MOED KATAN 23 (8 Elul) - Dedicated in memory of Esther Miryam bas Harav Chaim Zev and her husband Harav Refael Yisrael ben Harav Moshe (Snow), whose Yahrzeits are 7 Elul and 8 Elul respectively. Sponsored by their son and daughter in law, Moshe and Rivka Snow.|
It is forbidden to discuss words of Torah in a house of mourning. (1)
A mourner may not walk out of his house the first Shabbos. The second Shabbos he may go out but he may not sit in his regular place. The third Shabbos he may sit in his regular place but he may not talk. (2)
A mourner may not get married for thirty days.
If a husband loses his wife, according to the Tana Kama he may not get married until after three Regalim have passed and according to Rebbi Yehudah he may get remarried after two Regalim. (3)
A mourner may not wear freshly pressed clothing for thirty days. Rebbi Yehudah says only new clothing is prohibited and Rebbi Elazar Bar Shimon holds only new, white clothing is prohibited.
There is a dispute between the residents of Yehudah and Galil whether any of the regulations of mourning apply on Shabbos.
A person that lost a relative that has not yet been buried may not eat in front of the deceased and may not recline while eating and he may not eat meat or drink wine. (4)
According to the Tana Kama a person who lost a relative on Shabbos is prohibited from having marital relations, while Raban Gamliel disagrees.
A BIT MORE
1. It was said about Rebbi Chanina Ben Gamliel that he discussed words of Torah in a house of mourning.
2. Rebbi Yehudah holds that a mourner may not leave his house until the third week and may not sit in his regular place until the fourth week.
3. If the husband does not yet have children, he may get remarried immediately but may not have marital relation for thirty days.
4. He also may not recite a blessing, join a Zimun and is released from the Mitzvah of Kerias Shema, Tefilah and Tefilin and all of the Mitzvos in the Torah. However on Shabbos all of these things are permitted.
A woman that is mourning the death of her husband mourns for three months but may not get married until after three months. Although a husband that lost his wife may not get remarried until after three Regalim a woman does not have to wait that long. The reason is that a woman is happy married to anybody and forgets her first love rather quickly. (Mordechai)
A mourner may not get married forbidden thirty days even if he does not make a festive meal. After thirty days it is permitted to marry and make a festive meal even if one is mourning a parent that passed away. It is permitted for a mourner to be Mikadesh a woman immediately even on the day of the death but a festive meal may not be made until after thirty days. Some opinions hold that it is also forbidden to be Mikadesh a woman until after thirty days and that opinion is the correct one. (Shulchan Aruch YD 392:1)
The opinion that allows a mourner to be Mikadesh a woman immediately is because of the fear that someone else will beat him to her by means of prayer. (Shach)
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