Pirkei Avot - Ethics of the Fathers

~Level 1~
Rashi - "Make for yourself a Rabbi" - do not learn on your own from your own logic. Rather, from a Rav and from the Tradition (Mesorah).

"acquire for yourself a friend" - some say books and others say an actual (human) friend , since "two are better than one" (Kohelet 4:9). Likewise they said: "A sword on those who hate the students of the Sages, who sit and busy themselves with Torah alone. Not only that but they become more foolish.." (Taanit 7a).

"judge every person to the side of merit" - on whatever you hear about him, say that he had good intentions, until you are certain that it is not so. If you judge thus, you will be judged meritoriously in Heaven, as explained by our sages (Shab.127b).

~Level 1~
Sforno - "judge every person to the side of merit" - for without this trait no friendship can endure. For in most words the listener can find a way to judge the speaker unfavorably. Thus, any friendship will be destroyed without a doubt.

~Level 1~
Meorei Ohr in name of Rabeinu Yedaya hapnini - "acquire for yourself a friend" - they exhorted that one even spend money and give a house full of gold and silver. For the friend will be more beneficial and will grant you more wisdom than the Rav. This is because one is embarrassed from the Rav to ask him all his questions, and "a bayshan (shy and self-conscious person) cannot learn properly" (Avot 2:5). But he will not be embarrassed from his friend and both will ask each other and clarify the Halacha and sharpen each other, arriving at the truth of the matter.. as they taught: "I learned much from my Rabbis, and even more from my friends" (Taanit 7a). For a man will learn more with his friend than from the Rav as we explained.

~Level 2~
Rabeinu Yonah - "make for yourself a Rabbi" - even if your level of knowledge is equal to his, nevertheless make him a Rav on yourself. For a person remembers better what he learned from his Rav than what he learned by himself. Furthermore, even if both of you are equal in wisdom, sometimes you will understand better than him and wind up teaching him.

"acquire for yourself a friend" - for three things one needs a good friend. One, for torah, as they said: "I learned much torah from my Rabbis but more so with my friends and most of all from my students" (Taanit 7a).

Two, for mitzvot. For even if one's friend is less pious than him. Nevertheless, sometimes one also acts improperly due to lusting for something [bad]. But one will not desire that his friend do that [bad] thing since one does not stand to gain any benefit from his friend's sin, as our sages said: "a man does not sin unless he gains benefit" (Kidushin 63b).
Thus, when he rebukes his friend for sinning, his friend will do the same to him and both will do teshuva (repentance) do to each other.

Three, for advice. To take him as an advisor for help in all his matters and to obtain good advice and be a trustworthy keeper of secrets... on this Shlomo said: "Plans are foiled for lack of counsel, but they are established through many advisers" (Mishlei 15:22).

He used the term "acquire [for yourself a friend]". For if you cannot find him for free, acquire him using your money. Spend money abundantly to acquire a good friend, or befriend him with nice words and a gentle tongue. Do not become insulted (makpid) by his words and bear his mouth. Even if he says something (bad) against you do not answer him. For otherwise the love will not remain and the friendship will split. Sometimes you will ask for something and your beloved friend will answer: "that is not right!" If you don't tolerate him and let it pass, the cord of friendship will unwind.

This is what Shlomo said: "He who covers an offense seeks love, but he who harps on a matter separates close friends" (Mishlei 17:9), i.e. one who covers over when his friend wrongs him - seeks love. For by bearing his misdeeds, their love will endure. But "he who harps on a matter" - if one's friend says something against him and one gets upset saying: "see what he said against me!", will nevertheless "separates close friends", i.e. his friend.

"judge every person to the side of merit" - and in a tzadik, even if his act was certainly bad without a doubt, nevertheless judge him favorably as our sages said: "if you saw a torah scholar commit a sin at night, do not suspect him at day for certainly he repented" (Berachot 19a)...

~Level 2~
Ruach Chaim - "acquire for yourself a friend" - even with money, in order to obtain advice from him even on religious matters. For if you are wise in your own eyes, the yetzer hara can blind your eyes and make the crooked appear straight. Therefore seek counsel with your friend. For your yetzer hara is not so close to him to deceive him (i.e. your friend is more objective in your matters, thus he can see more clearly than you in them).

~Level 2~
Rambam - "Make for yourself a Rabbi" - even if he is not fit to be a Rav to you. Nevertheless, make him a Rav to you and consider him a teacher. Through this you will gain wisdom. For learning by oneself is not the same as learning through another. Learning by oneself is good, but learning from another will endure more and be clearer, even if the person is equal to you in wisdom or below you.

"acquire for yourself a friend" - he used the term "acquire", not "make for yourself a friend" or "join others". The intent in this is that one needs to acquire a friend for himself so that he will rectify his deeds and matters through him, as they said: "or a friend or death" (Taanit 23a).
If he does not find one, he needs to strive with all his heart, even if he needs to spend money in order to draw his love until he becomes a close friend.

Do not sway from being drawn after his will always until the love strengthens. And as the mussar masters said: "when you love, do not love according to your trait but rather according to the trait of your beloved". (explained below)

When both friends intend on this command, the intent of each of the two will be to find favor with the other (lehafik ratzon chavero), and undoubtedly both will have a unified intent (i.e. there will be peace and harmony).

And how good is the saying of Aristotle:

The beloved is one but the lover is of three types: "love of benefit", "love of tranquility", and "love of virtue".

"love of benefit": such as the love of two (business) partners, or the love of a king and his army.

"love of tranquility (menucha)": this subdivides into two types. One, love of pleasure and two, love of trust (bitachon).

Love of pleasure: such as the love of men to women, or the like.

Love of trust: is when a man has a friend whom his soul trusts. He will not guard from him in deed or speech. He will tell him of all his matters, whether good or bad, without fear of incurring a loss to himself or others. When a person reaches this level of trust in his friend, he will find great tranquility in his matters and abundant love.

"Love of virtue" is when both friends desire and have the same intent, namely, good. Each wants to help the other, so that both reach the good together. (end quote)

This is the type of friend we were commanded to acquire. It is like the love of a Rav to the Talmid (disciple), and the Talmid to the Rav.

~Level 3~
Maharal - It is proper to ask here: Why did he say "make for yourself a Rabbi" and not "take for yourself a Rabbi?". Another question: why the change of terms to say "make for yourself" regarding a Rav and "acquire [for yourself]" regarding a friend. Another question: how are these three things connected? Another question: why did he not also say "make for yourself a student". For our sages said: "I learned the most from my students" (Taanit 7a).

The explanation of this is as follows. The previous pair rectified a man's conduct in his home, which is close to him. We also clarified (last mishna) that man's conduct in his home is similar and related to his own conduct (with himself).

This pair, who were their disciples, now come after them to rectify how a man should relate to the public.

The first two (Rabbi and friend) are outside his home. But nevertheless they are also very close to him. The third is regarding other people. For a man is with his Rabbi then afterwards with his friend and afterwards with other people.

"make for yourself a Rabbi" - the intent is not for his main Rabbi (Rav Muvhak). On that he would not have said: "make for yourself". Rather, the explanation is to make for oneself a Rabbi even though the person is not (completely) on the level of being one's Rabbi. This is the meaning of "make for yourself". For it is impossible for you to not learn at least something from him. And for that something it is enough to "make" him a Rabbi [on yourself].

"acquire a friend for yourself" - by a friend it is relevant to say "acquire". For a friend is your acquisition (kinyano). Unlike the Rabbi who is not the acquisition of the student. Thus there he said "make for yourself a Rabbi".

But it is the way of friends to do favors for each other, taking care of each other's needs. Thus they are like acquisitions (assets) to each other.

Regarding both, even if the Rabbi is not completely on the level to be his Rabbi and likewise the friend is not on the level to be his friend, but nevertheless two are better than one, and acquire him anyways as a friend.

"judge every person to the side of merit" - if he sees something (bad) in someone, he should judge him favorably and not distance him thinking he is a wicked man.

These three things concern man's conduct with people outside his home. Namely, make for yoursef a Rabbi even if he is not completely fit to be your Rabbi. Acquire a friend even if he is not completely fit. While for other people who are not on your level, do not distance them at least all the time it is possible to judge them favorably.

He did not say "acquire for yourself a student". For it is not proper for a man to make himself into a Rabbi and take for himself an important title telling others to learn from him..

These three things correspond to three types of people. The first is those who are considered above him like the Rabbi. The second is those who are similar to himself like a friend. The third is the rest of people, even those of lower level than oneself. Thus, "judge every person to the side of merit". Even if he is lower than you do not judge him badly...

Regarding the connection between these three things we can also explain as follows. That which he said "make for yourself a friend", the intent is that the making of the Rabbi be complete and enduring. Llikewise for the acquiring of a friend, that the friendship not depart at all for all the days of one's life, as written: "Do not abandon your friend and your father's friend" (Mishlei 27). For since he is your friend and was also your father's friend, do not abandon him. For this is a faithful friend, not one who comes anew. Therefore, he said: "judge every person favorably". For since he is habitually with the Rabbi or the friend, it is impossible for there to not arouse times when you think he wronged you. For you spend much time with him and thus you will come to break off and separate Therefore he said on this: "judge every person to the side of merit".

When you judge him favorably, there will not be separation between you and the Rabbi or you and the friend. For you will judge him favorably when you suspect he wronged you. This is clear.

~Level 3~
Alei Shur II 6:10 - "judge every person to the scale of merit" - every deed of every person can be weighed on scales - meritorious or guilty? This is because there are two driving forces in man: the good inclination and the evil inclination. In every deed it is possible that its source is from this or from that. But since man can only see what appears to his eye, he cannot examine the heart and thoughts [of others], therefore we have been commanded to "judge every person to the scale of merit". Our sages learn this from the verse: "you shall judge your fellow with righteousness" (Vayikra 19:15).

Divrei Binah (Admor Biala) - this needs understanding. Why did he say: "make yourself a Rav" and not: "accept on yourself a Rav". What relevance (shaychut) is the term "make" on the matter of accepting a Rav?

(Answer:) the primary Shlemut (perfection) of a man is that he strives to sanctify and purify (lekadesh u'letaher) his 248 limbs (evarim) and 365 sinews (gidim) until they are elevated to the level where the limbs and sinews themselves pull him to fulfill Hash-em's commandments, blessed be He. And from his own self he will be capable to learn and understand the ways of G-d and His will, blessed be He. As we find by our holy forefathers, that on their own they fulfilled the whole torah before it was given.

For through the holiness of their bodies and limbs, on their own, they could understand and sense His will, blessed be He, in all their deeds. Through this, they would fulfill all the 613 commandments which correspond to the 248 limbs and 365 sinews.This is the meaning of "make yourself a Rav". Namely, see to it to make yourself and your body a Rav and mentor, so that through the holiness of your body, you will be able to sense His will, blessed be He, on your own.

Acquire for yourself a friend (chaver) - through this, you will merit to be connected and attached to Hash-em, blessed be He. For the word "mitzva" is from the word "communion" (tzavta) and attachment (chibur). It is an aspect of "acquiring" (kinyan), as our sages said on the verse: "Who acquired Heaven and Earth" (Lech lecha) - Rashi: "through making them, He acquired them and they are His".

This is the meaning of: "acquire for yourself a friend (chaver)", see to it to acquire (make) yourself to be on the aspect of "chaver" to Him, blessed be He.

And then "remove yourself from doubt" (later in Avot 1:16), your deeds will no longer have any suspicion and any doubt of sin, ch'v, and all your deeds will be l'Shem Shamayim in truth, without any doubts...

~Level 4~
Chida - Zeroa Yamin - perhaps the words are referring to the yetzer tov and yetzer hara (good and evil inclination). Thus, "make for yourself a Rabbi" on the yetzer tov. Namely, recognize his wisdom and accept him as a Rav to do all that he commands. While the yetzer hara is the "chaver" (friend), as they said in Chagiga (16) on the verse: "believe not a friend" (Micha 7:5). There it learns out that the Creator called him "evil from youth". All agree that he is an "evil friend".. the main job is to sweeten and change the yetzer hara into good. This is the meaning of "acquire for yourself a friend", i.e. the known "friend" who is your "friend" from the day of your birth. Acquire him to make him good. Acquire him to sweeten his bitterness.

~Level 4~
Chida - Marit Haayin - perhaps too, these three correspond to the three Sefirot Chagat (Chesed, Gevurah, Tiferet). "make for yourself a Rabbi" corresponds to Tiferet (Torah). "acquire for yourself a friend" corresponds to Gevurah, to strengthen oneself (lehitgaber) to not be makpid (upset) at all and love him like yourself, "judge every person to the side of merit" corresponds to Chesed, abundant Chesed to judge favorably.