with a select treasury of commentaries on all levels of Torah interpretation
Chapter 4 Mishna 19
with select commentaries
Abbreviations used in this translation:
RSHI - Rashi Commentary (1040-1105)
RMBM - Rambam (1135-1204)
BRTN - Rabbi Ovadiah of Bartenura Commentary (1445-1515)
TFRT - Tiferet Yisrael commentary (1782–1860)
YONA - Rabeinu Yonah (1180-1263)
MHRL - Derech Chaim - Maharal of Prague (1525-1609) (from hebrewbooks.org/14193)
VLNA - Biur HaGra of Rabbi Eliyahu of Vilna - (1720-1797)
| Commentary Legend: | |
 | - for basic commentaries as relating to the plain meaning (Pshat). |
 | - elaborates more into the theme. |
 | - deeper in, Maharal of Prague. |
 | - more themes in the text. |
Chapter 4 Mishna 19פרק ד משנה יט
| Do not appease your fellow in the time of his anger, nor console him while his dead lies before him (pending burial). Do not question him in the time of his vow (Neder). Do not try to see him in the time of his disgrace. | רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן אֶלְעָזָר אוֹמֵר, אַל תְּרַצֶּה אֶת חֲבֵרְךָ בִשְׁעַת כַּעֲסוֹ, וְאַל תְּנַחֲמֶנּוּ בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁמֵּתוֹ מֻטָּל לְפָנָיו, וְאַל תִּשְׁאַל לוֹ בִשְׁעַת נִדְרוֹ, וְאַל תִּשְׁתַּדֵּל לִרְאוֹתוֹ בִשְׁעַת קַלְקָלָתוֹ. |
Tiferet Yisrael - "do not appease your fellow in the time of his anger" - for appeasing him then will increase his anger.
"nor console him while his dead lies before him" - for on the contrary, when he sees that no one is pained by his pain, he will feel even more pain.
"do not question him in the time of his vow" - for when he makes the vow, certainly he desires the vow for whatever reason. And when you ask him: "did you make the vow even for such and such reason?", he will surely answer: "yes, even for that!"
Then what will you do in the end when he regrets the vow? (you will not be able to find an opening to annul the vow).
"do not try to see him in the time of his disgrace" - for when he stumbled in doing something improper, do not think it will calm him down to see his friends. On the contrary, he will become more embarrassed through this.
Ahava b'Taanugim - "Do not try to see him in the time of his disgrace" - and at the time he falls and stumbles. For then he hides lest people see his disgrace. But if you strive to look at him, he will think you rejoice at his downfall. Thus, the next mishna is: "when your enemy falls, do not rejoice".
Bartenura - "do not pacify your fellow in the time of his anger" - as written: "My face shall go before you, and I will give you rest" (Shemot 33) - the Holy One, blessed be He, said to Moshe: "wait until My face (so to speak) of anger passes" (Berachot 7a).
"nor console him while his dead lies before him (pending burial)" - at the time of the destruction [of the Temple and Jerusalem], the Holy One, blessed be He, was mourning. The ministering angels sought to console Him but G-d replied to them: "do not press to console Me".
"Do not question him in the time of his vow (Neder)" - to find an opening to annul his vow. For at that time, every opening you find he will [angrily] say "I am making the vow even on that intent!", and then afterwards you will no longer find any opening to annul the vow. We find that when the Holy One, blessed be He, swore to Moshe that he will not enter the land of Israel, Moshe did not beseech Him right away. He waited and afterwards began to beseech Him in prayer.
"do not try to see him in the time of his disgrace" - when he stumbles in sin. For at that time he is ashamed of every man. We also find when Adam sinned, G-d did not appear to him until they made girdles, as written: "and they sewed fig leaves and made themselves girdles" (Gen.3:7), and afterwards: "they heard the voice of G-d.." (Gen.3:8).
Yachel Yisrael - from this mishna, we see just how much our great men were sensitive to the needs of others, and careful in the honor of others. Their sensitivity and carefulness was so great that they saw fit to designate a special mishna to things which seem evident. Even so, they included it in order to save a few people from pain and embarrassment.
Maharal - it is proper to ask: what connection do these four things have with each other?
You should know that these four things are all one matter. Namely, that a man be careful to not do something with intent to rectify but which results in the opposite of what he intended.
For this is complete foolishness when it results in the opposite of his intent.
Therefore, "do not try to appease your fellow when he is angry". For when you try to appease him then, he increases rage on his rage. This is because when one is in a state where anger has overpowered him and someone comes to appease him, he increases rage on his rage.
Likewise, "do not console him when his dead lies before him". For here too, when he is in pain and great mourning, if you come to console him and annul his pain, he increases and strengthens even more in his mourning against the annulment.
Furthermore, "do not question him in the time of his vow".. Here too, he increases anger when one asks him if he regrets the vow and he strengthens and increases the vow even more.
"Do not try to see him in the time of his disgrace" - since he is in pain over his stumbling. And one who wishes to see what he does - this is even more painful for him.
For a person who is stumbling, people who see his stumbling are a burden on him, since he is separate/different from other people due to this stumbling. Thus a person does not want other people to see his stumbling.
The person coming intended to please him by feeling pain for his fellow's stumbling, but the result is the opposite. For his pain is greater when his stumbling is visible to others.
Thus, these four things are all one matter.