I HAVE THE FOLLOWING QUESTION REGARDING PAT BSALO (PAGE 18B). GEMARA
BRINGS SOME INSTANCES THAT RABBIS WHEN THEY WENT TO OTHER COUNTRIES OR
CITIES THEY WERE ASKING FOR A TEMPORARY WIFE. I BELIEVE TOSOFOT REASONS THAT
THE RABBIES WOULD NOT SLEEP WITH THE WIFE, DUE TO THE FACT THEY HAD TO WAIT
7 DAYS OF CLEANINGS. SO THE ONLY REASON WAS THE FACT THAT IN THE RABBIS'
MIND HE HAD PAT BESALO.
(a) MY QUESTION IS THAT IF HE ALREADY HAD A WIFE IN HIS HOME TOWN WOULDN'T THAT CONSIDER PAT BSALO AND WHY HE HAD TO MARRY A TEMPORARY WIFE.
(b) ALSO WOULDN'T THAT BE BAD FOR THE TEMPORARY WIFE. THE FUTURE SUITERS WOULD BE LESS INTERESTED, IF THEY WOULD FIND OUT THAT SHE WAS MARRIED AT LEAST ONCE BEFORE EVEN SHE REMAINED BETULA.
SINCERELY
ELI RAFAEL, LA, CA
(a) A wife who is not available in one's present location is not Pas b'Salo, since she cannot help him right now.
(b) It is clear from the Gemara that the women went into this arrangement willingly. It was apparently a great privilege for the woman to be called by the name of that great Sage, even for only one day. Regarding Yichud and other problems, see what we wrote in the Insights.
Best wishes,
M. Kornfeld
Shalom Rabbi Kornfeld:
I still have difficulty understanding this concept. If the idea is that by having a wife then a man's yeser hara would be minimize in this regard, then what does it make a different that you have this wife in this location or at home town.My understanding about getting second temporary wife is to close the doors on the yezer hara. he is not able to be with her anyways, then how that would help him. By boaz it said that eventhough he was 400 years old (midrash); he still had strong will not to be with her. then it seems that by rabbi
marrying this temporary wife, he might endanger himself and not only he would not be to use her as safe guard, by her yichud, there would be hirhoorim and other issues.
Eli Rafael
Here is what the Kollel wrote on the matter in Insights to the Daf for Yoma 18b. Hope this helps you.
Best wishes,
M. Kornfeld
3) HAVING TWO WIVES IN TWO PLACES
QUESTION: The Gemara relates that Rav and Rav Nachman (and presumably other Amora'im), when traveling to distant towns, would marry another wife in their destination town, in order to prevent any nocturnal mishaps from occurring.
The Gemara then asks that it will not help to marry a wife in the new town, because she would not be permitted to him for at least seven days, for the excitement of the marriage causes the woman to see "Dam Chimud" and become a Nidah right away. The Gemara answers that either the Rabanan informed the women they intended to marry 7 days ahead of time, or that indeed, they did not actually marry them, but were only "Misyached" (did Yichud) with them. Even though they were not actually married, nevertheless she was "Pas b'Salo" ("bread available in his basket") which has a psychological effect such that it prevents any nocturnal mishaps from occurring.
According to this final answer of the Gemara, what sort of "Pas b'Salo" was it if the woman was forbidden to him because of Dam Chimud? (TOSFOS DH Yechudi)
ANSWERS:
(a) RASHI (as explained by Tosfos) and the RAMBAM (Isurei Bi'ah 11:10) explain that the Gemara means "Pas b'Salo l'Achar Zeman," for she becomes permitted to him after seven days. That is called "Pas b'Salo" since he knows that she will be permitted to him in a matter of days. (That is, she is "available" to him as far as the Isur of being with an unmarried woman is concerned, even though she is not available to him as far as the Isur of Nidah is concerned. Since it is natural for a Nidah to eventually become permitted, she is called Pas b'Salo.)
(b) TOSFOS and other Rishonim answer that the Amora'im were only "Tove'a l'Yichud" -- they asked the women only to marry them in order to be Misyached with them after marriage, but not to have marital relations. Since the women were not expecting intimacy, they would not see Dam Chimud. [On the other hand, if the Chachamim later decided to have relations, there would still be no Dam Chimud, since the women were already married to them. Dam Chimud is only seen when a proposal is made to a woman who is not married.]
This also answers the previous question of the Gemara, which asked that it is not permitted to have two wives in two different places lest it lead to Mamzerus. Since he was normally only Misyached with the second woman, there is no fear of Mamzerus occurring; if he would have relations with her, he would bring her to his home town.
(c) The RI HA'LAVAN and RA'AVAD (Isurei Bi'ah 11:10) explain that the word "Yichud" in this Sugya does not mean "isolate themselves." It means "set aside for themselves"; that is, the Chachamim would ask a woman not to marry them, but to be "on call" for marriage. This was considered Pas b'Salo since at any moment, the woman would be ready to marry him and move in with him.
For reasons similar to those suggested by Tosfos, there is no problem of Dam Chimud in such a situation. When he asks her to "be ready" for him, he has not made a formal marriage proposal, so there is no Dam Chimud. When he later proposes to her and marries her, she will not have Dam Chimud since the proposal was, in a sense, expected and did not "catch her by surprise." (According to this approach too, the first question of the Gemara is answered, as described above in (b).)