Tosfos says that a woman does not have to be killed when forced to be sexually immoral unless she brings the man on to her. Did Esther lay in front of Achashveirosh flat on the bed without moving, stiff as a board? If yes, then the biggest miracle of Purim is that she wasn't killed on the spot for massively annoying the king. So she probably was affectionate to some degree, especially to the opinion that she was married previously to Mordechai and she said kaasher avaditi avaditi - ie goodbye to our marriage as I am going to be affectionate etc.
So why didn't Mordechai tell her that she must let herself be killed, since she would no longer be karka olom? And if she was inactive, stiff as a board, why don't we celebrate the miracle of her survival? (I suppose we wouldn't tell little kids about this miracle, but it could be a secret for adults. Have you ever seen something in Chazal, who were explicit about these subjects, discuss the miracle of her survival in the royal bedroom?)
Avrohom Meyer Kohn, Los Angeles, CA USA
The Me'iri in Sanhedrin 74b, holds that Esther did not do any act to assist Achashveirosh. I would suggest, that according to the Me'iri this miracle is included in the miracles of Purim that we commemorate when we read the Megilah. The Me'iri however must agree, that when Esther said Ka'asher Avadeti she was going to Achashveirosh of her own volition.
Other Rishonim say, that the Heter for Esther to be an active partner, was the need to save the whole nation. See Maharik (167) and Rosh Yosef Megilah 15a. This however, does not necessarily mean that the Maharik disagrees with the Me'iri, because the Maharik is only discussing the occasion on which Esther in fact became forbidden to Mordecai.
Rav Moshe Feinstein in Igros Moshe (YD 1:74) explains, that Abaye (Sanhedrin 74b) holds that Esther was allowed to be active, because the acts leading to an Aveiroh are not prohibited in a more stringent way than the Aveiroh itself. Therefore, since Esther was allowed to let Achashvierosh do the Aveiroh itself, she was also allowed to do acts involved with this Aveiroh. Ravah rejected this argument, and held that Esther's Heter was that Achashveirosh did not intend to make her do an Aveiroh, rather his intention was for his own pleasure. However, this would still not suffice to explain her Heter to go to Achashveirosh on her own accord.
According to this explanation, we should hold like Rava and forbid a woman to act unless the man seeks only his own fulfilment. However the Yam Shel Shlomo in Yevamos (6:2) permits the woman to act, since she is permitted to transgress the Aveiroh itself.
Reb Elchonon Wasserman in Koveitz He'oros (48:6) says that it is permitted for a woman to put herself into a situation where she will be Onus to transgress as Karka Olom, although he says this depends on a Machlokes Rishonim. According to those who forbid this, Reb Elchonon suggests that Esther was Moser Nefesh to save the whole of Klal Yisroel.
Rav Achai in She'iltos (42) writes that the duty to be Moser Nefesh for Giluy Arayos rests only on men, due to the degradation caused to the female party. He holds that the responsibility to be Moser Nefesh for this Aveiroh is not due to the severity of the prohibition, but due to the injustice committed to the female party. Therefore Esther would be able to take action since she had a Heter of Ones. However even according to this opinion when she went to Achashveirosh of her own accord she would need another Heter.
It is interesting to note that the Zohar (vol 3 page 276) as quoted in Ya'aros Devash says that Esther never actually had marital relations with Achashveirosh. Rather she sent a spiritual being (a Sheidah) in her stead.
Dov Freedman