More Discussions for this daf
1. Lav she'Kidmo Aseh 2. Lav ha'Nitak l'Aseh 3. ONES AND MOTZI SHEM RA
4. Reish Lakish's Diyuk from Rebbi Yehudah 5. Lo Sihyeh l'Ishah

David Goldman asks:

R. Dovid, it occurred to me that the idea that a rapist would have to remain with his victim his whole life has within it potential difficulties that must be addressed by the meforshim and poskim. Because it is human nature in general that living with someone who one does not like (except in the case of tsaddikim) would lead to possible other bad middos and even aveyras (violence, ni'uf, etc.). The human nature of the rapist is no different than that of anyone else under such circumstances.

Besides, what happens if the wife would change her mind over time about living with him, and want a get? What happens in that case? Say after 5 or 10 years she wants to leave him, surely she is not required to stay with him as the original innocent victim.......

David Goldman, USA

The Kollel replies:

Reb Dovid, I will just write one line due to lack of time at the moment.

Shulchan Aruch Even Ha-ezer 177:3 writes that he can never divorce her unless she wants.

So if she wants they can dissolve the marriage.

B'Ezer Hash-m I will write more later on Kol Tuv


The Kollel adds:

1) The source in the Gemara for the above is Kesuvos 39b. The Gemara cites a Beraisa which it explains to mean as follows: When she leaves the rapist-turned-husband (because he fulfilled the Torah's requirement to take her as his wife), she receives no Kesuvah payment. (I will not go into detail at the moment into the question of why she does not receive a Kesuvah. For now, let it suffice to say that the lump sum she received from the man as the fine for the rape is considered equivalent to the Kesuvah.) Rashi (DH k'she'Tetzei) writes that the scenario is where she leaves him of her own will and demands a Get. We learn from this that even though the Torah states that he may never send her away, if -- after he took her as his wife -- she later decides that she wants to leave him, she may demand a Get.

2) The Ran (14a of the pages of the Rif, DH Gemara Ishto) cites the Gemara in Makos (15a) which states that for the rest of his life he has an obligation to take her back. The Ran writes that this refers only to where the husband divorced the wife against her will, so the Halachah is that he must always take her back. If, however, she wanted to leave, then once she is divorced he is not obligated any more to take her back. We learn from this that while he cannot divorce her against her will, if she wants to leave she may demand a Get, and then she will never again possess the right always to stay with him.

3) The Gemara proceeds to describe the friction that might occur between the husband and wife after they married following the rape. Rebbi Yosi b'Rebbi Yehudah disagrees with the Rabanan and maintains that she does receive a Kesuvah payment. The reason is that even though he cannot forcibly divorce her all life long nevertheless the husband may find tactics to help himself to make her leave. He might life unpleasant for her and as a result in the end she will say that she wants to leave him. To deter the husband from such behavior Rebbi Yosi b'Rebbi Yehudah maintains that she is entitled to a Kesuvah payment even if she asks for a Get.

4) I think that the above background shows us how the Torah tries to protect the woman against being a victim of rape, and that if did happen then she has rights which she can take advantage of if she wants, but if she does not want this she is free to live her own life.

Kol Tuv,

Dovid Bloom