The Gemara says that Yaacov was punished (minus the yrs learning) for lack of Kibud Av Vaem for the years that he was away. But didn't he leave because his father and mother commanded him. He was actually listening to his parents by leaving?!
Eytan Konigsberg, Springfield, NJ
Ya'akov's father sent him to Charan to find a wife, while his mother sent him there to escape from Eisav. Consequently, the moment he had a wife (and had fulfilled his conditions with Lavan), and Eisav no longer posed a threat, he should have left Charan and returned. That point was reached it appears, the moment his second contract of seven years came to an end. Yet he decided of his own volition, to remain in Charan for another six years, for reasons not connected with those that his parents had cited. In addition, he dallied on the journey home, taking two years over a journey that should have taken him a few months at the very most. Had Ya'akov returned at the earliest possible opportunity, he would have been fulfilling his parents' instructions, and he would not have been punished. But now that he delayed his return journey, even though he had already built a family proves that his sojourn in Charan was personally motivated, and not in order to fulfill his parents instructions.
Be'Virchas Kol Tuv
Eliezer Chrysler.