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SUMMARY
When someone makes a Neder his ledger of deeds is opened in heaven and his deeds are investigated.
Making a Neder is tantamount to building an altar and keeping a Neder [refusing to ask a Chacham to be released] is tantamount to bringing a Korban on the Bamah.
The Halachah is that a Chacham may not encourage a person to say that he would not have made the Neder if he had known that making a Neder is tantamount to building a Bamah. (2)
Shmuel says that a person who makes a Neder is regarded as a Rasha even if he fulfills the Neder.
If someone vows k'Nidrei Kesheirim it is not a Neder, but if someone vows k'Nidrei Resha'im it is a valid Neder.
Anyone who angers will be subjected to all types of Gehinom.
When a person angers even the Shechinah is not important to him. (4)
A person who angers is assured that his sins are more than his merits.
If Klal Yisrael had not sinned they would only have been given the five books of the Torah and Sefer Yehoshua.
A Chacham should not release a person from a Shevu'ah with Hashem's name unless he swears that his wife may not benefit from him. (5)
Rebbi says that the correct path that a person shall choose is the one that is a tribute to him and brings him acclaim from others. (5)
A BIT MORE
1. Because when a person makes a Neder he is implying that he is a Tzadik and he is capable of keeping his Neder without any concern.
2. And certainly the Chacham may not encourage a person to say that he would not have made the Neder if he had known that making a Neder is tantamount to bringing a Korban on a Bamah. The reason is because building and bringing a Korban on a Bamah is such a severe Aveirah that we are concerned that he will be embarrassed to admit that he would have made the Neder anyway and he will lie to the Chacham.
3. However the Chacham may not use this statement to encourage the person to say that had he known this he would not have made the Neder because he will be embarrassed to admit that he would have made the Neder anyway.
4. A person who angers forgets his Talmud and increases foolishness.
5. L'Chatchilah a Chacham may not release a person from a Shevu'ah however in this case for the sake of Shalom Bayis the Chacham may release him.
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BRIEF INSIGHT
A RASHA AND A SINNER
Shmuel says that a person who makes a Neder is regarded as a Rasha even if he fulfills the Neder. The Gemara says later that a person who makes a Neder is a sinner and the Shulchan Aruch states that you are both a sinner and a Rasha. The Shalmei Nedarim asks that if a person who makes a Neder is a Rasha most certainly he is a sinner as well. The Sefer Yad Neder answers that the Sefer Akeidah says that even though a person has a propensity to sin and sinning is part of a person's nature however a person does not have it in his nature to remain in the grip of the sin and thus a person must make an effort to depart form the sin and do immediate Teshuvah. It is the same with respect to the sin of making Nedarim. A person who makes a Neder is a sinner however he is not a Rasha because it is the nature of a person to get angry and make Nedarim. He is, however, obligated to immediately do Teshuvah and go to a Chacham to be released from his Neder. If he fails to do that and he remains with the Neder he is regarded as a Rasha. (The Taz gives the same answer)
QUICK HALACHAH
AVOIDING NEDARIM
Do not get in the habit of making Nedarim. Anyone who makes a Neder even if he keeps it is regarded as a Rasha and a sinner. Making a Neder is tantamount to building an altar at the time that Bamos are forbidden and keeping a Neder is tantamount to bringing on it a Korban because it is preferable to be released from the Neder. However it is a Mitzvah to keep Nidrei Hekdesh and a person should not ask to be released from them unless he has compelling reason. A person should not ask to be released from a Shevu'ah unless he has a compelling reason.
A person should not ask to be released from a Shevu'ah because some opinions hold that a person can only be released from a Neder and not from a Shevu'ah. (Taz)
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